You know when you're in a really good mood and you're just loving life - skipping through it like a 5-year-old in a sweet shot - and you feel like nothing can go wrong? Yes? And you know when that feelings 'gone with the wind', the second you encounter a certain someone (or certain 'someones' for that matter) because all they do is 'moan'?
When I think about it, it's what I've done for most of my life - carried around other people's bulls***. See, I tend to be the one they come to to moan about each other and their lives in general. It's like they offload on me and I'm the one 'stuck' with the crap. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind being the one people come to - I don't think people should keep things bottled up and I'd hate for people to think they're alone - BUT it can have consequences.... Especially in terms of MY mood...
What it does to my mood? I'm ashamed to say that for far too long, I've let it get me down. Why? Because, sometimes, it's just easier! It takes energy not to let other people's negativity get to you - and its energy that I haven't had for a long time.
This has caused ME to be the miserable person when other people have, seemingly, merrily gotten on with their lives.
Now, it's not other people's fault that I'm affected by their negativity - it's mine. However, I have decided that enough is enough - possibly because I've been working on myself a lot this past year. I'm trying to hold my life together and work my way forward. I'm trying my best to be a better person today than I was yesterday and that's what I need to spend my energy on...
I know my wants and needs can't force other people to change... And seeing as telling them to "shut up" could be seen as offensive (no matter how I put it) - not to mention the fact that it would clash with my 'loving' nature - all I can do is to:
- Try not to listen
- When I do (listen), make a point of telling myself that other people are entitled to their own opinions/feelings and that it doesn't mean I have to feel the same
- Think of everything I have to be grateful for in my life
- Forgive myself if I accidentally joint 'Les Miserables' (no one can be 'on top' all the time - boi, can I moan?!)
Pretty basic, I know, but there's only so many 'acrobatics' one can get away with in certain environments... regardless of whether or not one has an 'endearing personality, like 'Moi'!
Published by Agnes G