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So you know when you go to some family gathering and everyone is asking you stupid questions like “Do you go out with your friends?”, “How’s school going?”, “What are your plans after you finish high school?”, “Is there any cute boy?”, “Do you have a boyfriend?”.
Ah, that question. Don’t get me wrong, all those questions make us super uncomfortable but boyfriend/girlfriend-related one tops everything. And the same situation happens every single time. Of course, when that question comes, everyone is trying to hear your answer including your parents. I don’t know about you, but I always say no because that’s the truth.
I only had one real boyfriend. I had few crushes from time to time, one online relationship but that’s all. My family is sure that I’m lying… sorry guys, I have to disappoint you.
So when I say no, everyone gets shocked for a second, just long enough for me to notice their reaction and then comes another, even more stupid question – WHY?
I usually answer “I just haven’t found anyone I like.” Boom! Another shock. And then, usually, they would just say “Oh but you are in high school, I thought you must be dating someone.” There.
Why is being in high school connected with boyfriend/girlfriend thing? I get it, you’re around 17, 18 and that’s usual age for having a boyfriend/girlfriend and losing your virginity. But why is everyone shocked when they learn you’re actually single at that age? And the worst thing is that they actually get all worried for you. People, chill. I’m single because I don’t want relationship. I’m a loner, I get attached too quickly, I become clingy and I get jealous about everything. Also, I could never dump anyone because I don’t want to hurt anyone. I always think about other person’s feelings and I just can’t do anything bad to anyone because I know how would I feel if the roles were reversed.
I wanted to write normal age but why would that be normal age? Maybe someone doesn’t feel ready for relationship at that age. Maybe someone started dating at age of 14-15. Why has high-school-dating became social norm? And why do others, who aren’t sticking up with “rules”, have some unwritten outcast/weirdo/freak title?
At the beginning, I felt like an outcast. Everyone is dating now. Everywhere I look I see couples. Almost every girl and every guy that are my age or a year older/younger are dating. But then when I thought about it more I realized some things.
- Firstly, half of those relationships are fake because they are obviously cheating on each other.
- Secondly, they are usually dating because that way they become more popular.
- Thirdly, guys are dating some random younger girls because those girls would sleep with them (especially if he’s training football).
- Fourthly, some girls are dating guys that usually hang out with popular ones/ footballers/ hot ones (because girls usually want to be popular or they just want to hook up with a footballer behind her boyfriend’s back, for example)
- And lastly, I read somewhere that the smarter the woman is the more difficult it is for her to find the right man.
This leads to my conclusion.
I respect others’ relationships, I respect others’ wish to have fun, date and lose their virginity. But I don’t feel ready for any of it. I think I’ll feel ready when I meet someone special. I know it sounds too dreamy and poetic but I believe that’s the truth. Until then, I don’t mind being single even if I’m going to high school. Your relationship status isn’t anybody’s business. Whether you’re single at 18, 25, 30 or 40 that’s your decision, that’s your personal life.
Published by Anya G