(If you are reading this in the online church at wordpress www.church.crossofchristlive.one you will probaly notice the lack of paragraphs. I dont know why this is happening, it has to be a tech issue with wordpress)
The last days and weeks has been very interesting, it has been a study in the power of the blood of Jesus. I know I sometimes have a habit of repeating myself, but for the sake of new readers I will just recap my story. Some years ago my wife and I sinned with our money. We made sinful decisions and proved to be bad stewards of money. So we ended up with debt, some would call it a mountain of debt and we are still struggling with it. We tried for a long time to keep our house and avoid foreclosure, in April this year, we where hit with the first foreclosure. In my home country we get a choice to accept it, or to sell by our own free will. Everybody wants to sell by their own free will, even the collection agencies prefer to avoid foreclosure because it is easier for them. So we chose to sell by our own free will and we hired a real estate agent. She was not the best real estate agent, and after some time I got an e.mail from her telling her she had decided to back out and she cancelled the contract with us. She did not give any real explanation on why. So we where left without any real estate agent, and it first looked like we where headed for a foreclosure anyway.
At the time we had already moved out of the house and into a beautiful apartment we could afford. So it was not a big deal for us if it where to go to foreclosure since we where not living in the house anymore. But at the same time we wanted to sell it by our own free will, so we made on last attempt to find another real estate agent and this is where we return to the latest development in my story.
When our finances first collapsed I remember praying and seeking the Lord on what to do. I knew we had sinned, and I saw how we had passed the point of no return, how our actions could not be reversed and the consequences would just accelerate very fast and become huge within a short amount of time. God forgave us right away when we confessed our sins and repented from it, but the debt train had left the station and was picking up speed rapidly. So even though God had forgiven us, we had just begun the ride of our lives but not in a good way. (1.John 1:9)
I remember back then how desperate I felt. I felt like I was caught on the debt train against my will, like a prisoner of debt being carried away to an uncertain future. So I felt I had to do something, I had to fight, scream, do something to change the situation. But the difficult thing was this, what was I supposed to do? I could not change what had happened even though I knew we where forgiven by God. I could not go back in time and undue our actions that had led to this. But in the midst of all of this God never left us.
The first thing I felt was a desperate need to hear from God. I needed a word, and I wanted a word that was specific that told me something like "do this and you will get out of this situation". So I googled prophetic ministries and a lot of strange and somewhat scary results showed up, but I found one ministry I felt I could trust, Fathers Heart founded by Russ and Kitty Walden. I remember writing to them and the word I got disappointed me. It did not say "do this, then next step do that, and then I promise you results". Instead it just said something like "I am God, I know what I am doing, trust Me". Even though it was not what I had expected I was comforted by it. Through the words spoken by prophet Russ I felt the Fathers love and the Fathers comfort. It felt like God my loving Father was talking to me, holding my hand, comforting me. Not telling me what I wanted to hear, but telling me what I needed to hear. And there is a difference, but an important difference.
My biggest fear at the time was a foreclosure and being forced to move. I did not know where we would live, how we would make the move. I was convinced a move would be to much for me to handle mentally because I felt so stressed out by the situation and at the same time so shameful. Even though I knew God had forgiven us I was so filled with shame and self hate, because I knew better. I know how to handle money and what not to do, but even so I had allowed myself to go against my own principles and I had done what Adam did. Because of my passivity as a man I had allowed myself and my wife to sin. So I knew God had forgiven me, but it was so hard to accept it. And at times I accepted it, but I knew people around me was not God. So I wanted to hide what we had done, I wanted to act like everything was ok, but that just increased the stress because now I was fighting to keep it a secret at the same time.
The biggest mistake we do is to act like if we have not sinned when we sin. Adam did this in the garden. He hid from God, and tried to act like nothing had happened. But the second biggest mistake we make as christians is to judge our brothers and sisters when they sin. We all sin, being a christian does not exempt us from sinning and making bad mistakes. We have all done it, we will all do it in the future, and when we do it we dont need to be judged. We need to be treated the way God treats us, forgiven and helped to accept the consequences. Personally I experienced a lot of judgement from people around me when this happened. It did not help the situation because I knew it was our fault.
I remember back then praying to God several times to be given permission to keep the house. And against all ods, we kept it for 4 years. It has been the hardest and most challenging 4 years of my life. But God has been gracious, merciful and kind all the time. He allowed us to keep it and while we kept it He worked on us. So suddenly one day, at the end of those 4 years, I found myself changed. I had been changed from fighting to keep the house to looking forward to selling the house. Suddenly I woke up one day and thought to myself, I want to move, I want to sell the house. And so we did.
We did not deserve to keep the house for that long, God could have taken it away from us 4 years ago and nobody could blame Him. He listened to my prayers for the house, and instead of answering them He allowed me to keep it for some time while He changed me into accepting His will which is to sell it. I dont know what kind of challenges you are facing. I dont know what kind of fight you are in right now. But is there something in your life God wants you to let go, something you are holding on to for dear life?
During the 4 years I had several prophetic words given to us from seasoned prophets which all said the same thing, "stand still and let God move, stand still and watch the Lords salvation on your behalf" (Exodus 14:13, 2 Chron 20:17)
What kind of fight are you in right now where everything around you screams at you "do something!" but somebody has prophesied to you "stand still and let God move, watch the Lords salvation on your behalf"?
Everything around me was screaming at me "do something!" so when I got those prophetic words I did not understand it. I wanted to, I felt like I was being irresponsible if I did nothing. I felt like I had to do something to change the situation. But I knew it was not humanly possible for me to do anything, the situation had grown out of my control. At the same time I could not accept that, I could not accept I could not do anything. After all, being a man I had to do something....
Looking back I see how my attitude at the time was one of the major reasons for us to be in the wilderness for such a long time. God was trying to tell me what to do, but I would not listen. But God did not leave us because of it and He cared for us in the wilderness all the time while He was working on teaching me what to do.
I dont know what is keeping you in your wilderness, but is there something God is trying to teach you? Something you find hard to accept, perhaps so hard that He has to keep you in the wilderness until you accept it?
Dont get me wrong, we are still in the wilderness. We still have financial debt, but now we are starting to see the promised land on the horizon. And this brings us back to the latest development in our story.
We found a real estate agent who had no problem selling our house, even though we have a ton of debt connected to it. This guy has worked as a real estate agent for 11 years and he has sold his share of houses with tons of debt connected to it. We do not live in the house anymore, the house is empty. So we have told our new real estate agent he is free to do what he wants to do with it to sell it as quickly as possible. Of course I have my episodes of and waves of thoughts telling me "what if this one also suddenly backs out and cancels the contract?". And yes I have no proof that he sticks with his contract, so I have a choice and if I make the right decision we will cross into the promised land.
The choice is between trying to get into the promised land trusting in myself and what I can do to rectify and change this situation or trust in what Jesus has already done. The choice is between fighting myself or standing still and let God move and watch the salvation of the Lord.
And after 4 years in the wilderness I accept that the best thing is to stand still and let God move. By standing still and watching the salvation of the Lord He will bring us into the promised land, He will get the glory and we will get the benefits.
But just how are you supposed to do this? How can you stand still and watch the salvation of the Lord when the doctor has told you there is only a short time left to live, the cancer is eating away at your body and everything is telling you to do something? How can you stand still and watch the salvation of the Lord when you are in the midst of foreclosure and everybody around you has left you and judged you for your sins?
You do this by having a constant strong faith and trust in the blood of Jesus and His death for your sins, nothing more, nothing less but the blood of Jesus and His death. When Jesus died for your sins He already won the victory over debt, sickness, poverty, confusion and made sure every need is met by His blood.
This is the reason why we have suddenly found a real estate agent who is willing to sell our house, because we are trusting in the blood of Jesus.
Dont get me wrong, there is still a lot of fighting left to take the promised land. When the Israelites crossed over into the promised land they had to fight their way in. They had to fight the hittites, the amalekites and other ites. Even though we have are at the threshold of the promised land now we still have to fight and right now we are fighting against the worryites and fearites. The what if ites trying to tell us "what if this new real estate agent backs out?".
So trusting in the blood of Jesus does not mean the fighting and the war stops. It does not mean every ites in your life vanishes and you never see them again. But what it does mean is this, you dont have to fight yourself because Jesus has already fought for you and He won your victory at the cross. The only fight you have to fight is the good fight of faith where you choose to believe and trust in His blood (1.Tim 6:12)
Ever since we have chosen to trust in the blood things have started happening. They are not always happening the way we would like them to happen, but it always turns out to be the best solution for us. But we have to make a choice each day, several times a day, to trust not in the ites of the land but in the blood of Jesus. And when we do the ites has to shut up and accept that they where defeated by our Lord at the cross.
The best way to describe it is this, every time we choose to trust the blood we are filled with a deep trust and sense of security. A deep trust telling us Gods got this, our Lord is fighting for us and we only have to keep our trust in the blood.
I dont know when we will cross over into the promised land. I dont know when the financial debt and all the money issues in our life will realize the blood of Jesus defeated them at the cross. But what I do know is this, the blood is enough. The blood has payed our bills, the blood has made us debt free, the blood has secured our future financially, the blood has met all our needs. The blood is enough and the blood is enough for you dear reader. I dont know what you are facing right now, but I do know it will be more easier for you if you choose to fight the good fight of faith trusting in the blood and nothing but the blood of Jesus.
Published by Apostle Ernie firstname.lastname@example.org