A Sister's Betrayal

Here is the link to a story I wrote a while back.... I am looking for some feed back there are 12 chapters. I want feed back on my writing style and rather or not my story can hold one's attention. I am in the process of writing my own book but I want to make sure that I am not wasting my time and I can hold my audiences attention long enough to finish reading my book...

Thanks in Advance!

Social Butterflyy

Published by Life of a Unique Woman


Sep 8, 2016, 6:31:28 PM

Thank you for your opinion. I know that there were errors but I really was just looking for feedback on the "plot" of the story. This story was written for fun on another site and I just transferred it here. As tho I have done with other blogs. I have been a writer all of my life from blogging, journals/diaries, to short stories for my son and myself. I thank you for your input and overall glad you enjoyed my work...

Sep 8, 2016, 3:23:04 PM

Hello :-) The first thing I noticed, was you do not use very many commas. These are very important as they tell the reader when to breathe, or pause. However, the story was generally enough to keep the person interested although it will probably need quite a bit of work. Generally, you would find that abbreviations such as WTF are not used, although there probably would be exceptions to this. I would say that you are definitely not wasting your time with writing :-)

Reply heres...

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