Fueled by my natural interest on the matter about love, relationships, commitment, and the ‘magic’ of soul mates, I find browsing the topics related to the aforementioned subjects quite irresistible. I do not normally let a good and inspiring article or book slip out of my time without reading it, or if I don’t get a chance on the spot, I would bookmark it (if it is on the internet) for a comeback later.
I remember reading an inspirational book about a certain lady’s journey to the altar one afternoon when I had the chance to visit National Bookstore on Mango Avenue. The book was inspiring and an ‘eye-opener’ at the same time. What made it inspiring though was the demonstration of her faith and personal conviction: not to settle for anybody for the sake of settling down. The author, in her search for love employed the tactics of patience and receptivity throughout her journey in finding her true love. But sadly, still there are many singles out there who are extremely passive in their search for love, casting their fate to the Universe. Sometimes they tend to neglect the fact that they too, need to actively participate in their search for love.
Bo Sanchez in his book ‘How to Find your One True Love’ enumerates eight steps or principles to prepare singles in the wonderful journey of love, relationship, and commitment, which are as follows:
Take responsibility for finding your one true love. Unlike the common notion that love, if it’s meant for you, will find its way to you no matter what, it is our duty; however to do our part in such a quest by being deliberate on that matter, i.e., by identifying and confronting the problem, then taking full responsibility towards the quest for love by the following actions: knowing one’s self, growing one’s character, getting emotionally healthy, and forming support team.
Identify your Internal Block and Self-Imposed Prisons of Fear. The first step to attract love is to possess clarity of purpose, and then to do away with any inner blocks (e.g., guilt, low self-worth, fear of rejection, childhood trauma, commitment phobia, etc.) in one’s life. It is chiefly important that one must be healed of their pains and luggage before starting afresh in one’s journey towards true love.
Talk to Lots of Guys. Your aim should not be to search for a spouse, but rather, to search for self-knowledge, fun, and friends, instead. With this mindset, you are removing the pressure off you. When you focus on making friends instead of on being stiff with your search on finding a spouse per se, you tend to become more relaxed and true to yourself, and be objective in what you truly wants and needs.
Have as many friendly dates as humanly possible. Friendly dates not only widen your circle of friends, they also give you the opportunity to get to know yourself and others in a relaxed manner under real circumstances, and more importantly, friendly dates give you the chances to fall in love with someone you can be friend with—an important ingredient in a successful marriage.
Be attractive. Enhance your inner and physical beauty by taking care of your soul and your body. As much as possible, enjoy being a woman. Some of the ways of being beautiful include feeling that you’re beautiful, being feminine, cultivating the qualities of happiness, friendliness, humility, modesty, positivity, being affirmative, mysterious, and being yourself.
Know what you want in a spouse. It is important that you make a list of the ‘non-negotiable’ traits that you want your spouse to have—and stick to it.
Enter into Courtship. After knowing yourself, enjoying your life to the fullest, making new friends, having as many friendly dates as possible, and completing the ‘non-negotiable’ traits list. And after you said ‘yes’ for an exclusive date, it is important to remember that it is vital that you need to be purposeful, to slow down and get to know each other deeply.
Trust God and enjoy life. Finally, when everything has been said and done, and you are trudging the blissful path of love, trust that the God who brought the two of you this far, will always be there for you. So, enjoy life together as a couple and as different individuals, as well. Remember: a Happy Man + a Happy Woman = a Happy Marriage.