Emotionally Unavailable Men: 8 Signs (And How To Handle One)

Emotionally Unavailable Men: 8 Signs (And How To Handle One)

Do you often find yourself falling for an emotionally unavailable man? If you're tired of the indifference and the lack of commitment, then you need to be warier of the men you date.

Here are the eight warning signs you should be on the lookout for (plus tips on how to deal with an emotionally unavailable man).

He's Rude

If it's only been a few weeks, you might not be able to see your guy's emotional unavailability outright. But you could have a clue by observing the way he treats other people.

Is he compassionate? Or is he a tool to everyone? The latter does not only present as rudeness. It may be a sign that he's emotionally unavailable as well.

What You Can Do:

Be observant. It's good if your man is polite, respectful, and empathic. But if he's the opposite of all these, it points to one thing: he's emotionally unavailable.

He's Like a Robot

It doesn't matter if he's happy, sad, angry, or tired – you can expect him to act the same way. It seems like he's unable to express himself emotionally.

What You Can Do:

Try to tug on your guy's heartstrings, especially if it's something that should invoke an emotional reaction. It's important to help your man get in touch with his feelings.

He's Self-Centered

What you thought was confidence at first might be full-blown self-centeredness. This is the case when he's only talking about himself or if he's always controlling the conversation.

Self-centeredness is more than just his failure to ask about you. It is often a form of self-defense as this prevents him from having to open up his emotions. This makes him so engrossed with himself that he barely has enough time for you.

What You Can Do:

If he doesn't ask you squat, it's time for you to spill the information yourself.

Try to go head-to-head with him. If he talks about his work, then talk about your work. If this doesn't give him an inkling of your desire for inclusion, then it's time for you to walk out the door.

He's Never Wrong

Whenever you ask your man about his past relationships, he's always quick to blame his exes. If he's bitter instead of talking about the turn of events, this resentment may be a sign of emotional unavailability.

What You Can Do:

A good man can talk about his past relationships without pointing fingers. However, if he continues to be angry whenever he talks about his exes, then there's no changing this mentality.

That said, it's best if you left the scene while it's still early.

He's Disengaging from You

When your man was still courting you, he did everything that made you fall fast – and hard. That's why it's hard to accept when he slowly disengages from you.

He might do this by avoiding you and your conversations. It can also manifest as working long hours or drinking more alcohol than usual.

As you try to patch things up, you may find him drifting further away from you. This is what E. Mavis Harrington calls as the Pursuer-Distancer Pattern. Unfortunately, this often leads to separation or divorce.

What You Can Do:

There's a difference between wanting space and disengaging from the relationship.

If you want to know how to deal with an emotionally unavailable man, ask him how long he needs. If he remains disengaged by his self-imposed deadline, then it's time for you to move on.

He's Always in Denial

Does he deny the need for opening up? An emotionally unavailable man always insists that there's nothing wrong with him. Sadly, he feels that opening up makes him less of a man.

What You Can Do:

You can't change a man's ways. If he continues to be in denial of his feelings, then it's time to seek greener pastures.

He Hasn't Been in a Long-Term Relationship

If he's in his 30s or 40s, then he should've been in a long-haul relationship or two. The lack of this shows a problem with commitment – a cornerstone of emotional unavailability.

What You Can Do:

Ask questions about his relationship history. Remember to share your past, too, so he wouldn't feel like you're ganging up on him.

He's All About Sex

Sure, sex is a vital component of every relationship. But when a man is emotionally unavailable, it's going to be just sex for him.

Instead of talking about stuff, he'll just use sex to shut you up. In some cases, he might even use this as a means of commanding your relationship.

What You Can Do:

The first few months of a relationship are often physical. This makes it hard to know if he's emotionally unavailable.

You can put this to the test by asking him to go on hikes or trips with you. If he refuses this and insists on sex all day every day, then this is an emotional red flag. 

Published by Brian Tremel

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