Thoughts create your actions...period. Before an action stems a thought and your beliefs determine those thoughts. Let's take a look at the image above: Ask More Questions. What your current beliefs will make you accept it, reject it, or even question this suggestion. But what makes this a suggestion even a suggestion at all? It may simple be just a sign by itself to be accepted as one.
You see from my open-minded mindset, when I first came across this saying above, I sort of saw it as insane. I asked myself "why I would be asking so many questions?" However, when I started asking more questions I started gaining varying perspectives of that image, incident, chapter in the book, and more. From that expansion of my mind came an acceptance of many explanations and this led me to accept certain situations as they are rather than try to change them because of an unexpanded mindset.
Let me give you a specific example. When I used to work at a forensic psychology office, we dealt with men and women who came in with bad attitude about them attending their mandatory counseling sessions. This led to a good amount of shouting from their part, blaming us for them being there, and many many more hair pulling moments. However, when I started to get a hold of my own emotional tremors and decided to ask more questions, something magical happened. I accepted the situation as it is and was able to ward off any emotional reactions and any labeling of the situation in the process.
Once I was able to ask more questions of the situation like, "what is going on through their mind right now?" and "how come he is shouting each time he gets here?" and the kicker, "what is it about what I said and did that triggered those actions?" This eventually ended up with me tweaking my actions, more so allowing myself to stay neutral in the volatile situations, and upholding my professional demeanor. I also observed how humor is portrayed from many of those individuals so my ability to recognize those situations allowed me to mimic their style of humor which eventually helped me reach better level of interactions with them. Long story short, as time passed, many situations became routine and positive, but without my ability to question and adapt in the first place, I wouldn't have been able to reach that point.
My homework for you is to learn to observe your actions, especially ones where situations turn towards the opposite of what you wanted to them to result. From that point of observation, begin to see what you thought before you committed that act. And then think far back and ask what led you to begin thinking that way in the first place. You'll be surprised of what you may dig up, but the great thing about it is when you start changing your beliefs, little by little your actions begin to change as well.
This will take time but rest assured that change is the overall goal, and change won't take too long to come my friend.
Published by Bryan Agbayani