Slut Shaming, Tinder and MGTOWs

Recently, thanks to Curiosetta, I decided to investigate MGTOWs (Men Going Their Own Way, in case you’ve never really heard that phrase before. I hadn’t; nor had my husband, so I’m guessing they aren’t the most relevant group).

To be honest, I could target any one of their videos or threats that I watched or read. Seriously. There was so much for the taking, and you’ll probably hear about it in the future – I definitely plan on dissecting a lot of their opinions. But, basically their intention and main goal seemed to be set on humiliating and demeaning women.

Seriously.

Literally seems to be their motto. 

For example, one video was celebrating a man breaking up with his girlfriend of five years over the radio. Apparently she’d cheated on him, but instead of behaving like an adult and confronting her and asking if there was any truth to the rumours, he set up a break-up scheme with a radio station. During the segment, the radio hosts and her boyfriend led her to believe he was about to propose.

The radio hosts also insulted her continuously throughout the segment (I don’t know how she stayed on the line for so long, I would’ve hung up), mocking her for having the audacity for being a woman.

Then her boyfriend dumped his very confused ex.

While I don’t condone cheating, to me, an act like that is despicable. (And in case anyone’s claiming “You’re a woman!”, my husband listened to the audio as well, and was more horrified than I was. On top of which, I have been cheated on, and have never felt it necessary to behave so pathetically.) No onedeserves to be treated that way. Ever. Whilst most commenters felt that the guy was lucky, I felt that opposite (and so did my husband). We both felt that the woman was lucky he’d dumped her.

Anyone capable of such disrespect and hate, so fuelled with vengeance, doesn’t love you, doesn’t care for you, and certainly doesn’t respect you. And – let’s be clear – he didn’t know for certain if she had cheated, or what had happened, before he started the radio segment.

There were plenty of other videos – hundreds, if not more – but they all seemed to share the same theme: shaming, bullying and harassing women.

The one that bugged me the most, however, was a compilation video of women on Tinder being slut-shamed (which I will not share: the person who created it doesn’t deserve any more attention).

I’m not sure if the profiles of the women had been photo-shopped to harass women for the sake of harassing them, or if they women had actually written that they were only after sex.

If it was the former, I think that that’s an abominable and despicable act that should be a criminal offence.

If it was the latter, I still feel the same. If a woman wants to have casual sex, and lots of it, I don’t think she should be shamed (especially when these MGTOWs are claiming that’s all they want, too … hypocrisy anyone?).

Image Credit: TheOdyesseyOnline.com: This is their actual logic. 

What I don’t understand, however, is the why. The purpose behind the video.

If these women only want sex, so?

Are you pissed because they just don’t want to have sex with you?

Are you pissed that women are “going their own way”, and that’s only acceptable when men do it?

Are you pissed at the idea that women don’t need men? Or don’t necessarily want long-term relationships?

What do you gain by slut-shaming and sharing these women’s personal details?

How does that make you a respectable, decent man?

How does it fit in with you wanting to go your own way? I mean, I understand if you want to be single and on your own. That’s fine. I pass no judgement. But why demean other people?

What do you achieve by this?

Because, if that’s what MGTOWs are about, if that’s the type of behaviour and the attitude they support and like, I don’t see how this helps or benefits men, or their rights, or any progression for men of any kind.

All I see is men being bullies and thinking that this somehow makes them strong.

If tearing other people down (or attempting to) makes you feel “strong”, then you can’t be that strong, can you?

Otherwise you wouldn’t need to reassure your ego.

Originally published on The Melodramatic Confessions of Carla Louise.

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