It started out like most loves do,
With cliché thoughts of me and you
Sitting till sunset at the park,
Or laughing at each other’s snark.
But like most loves, it weaved and changed,
Until I’d found myself deranged.
I felt deformed, just like a leper;
And more lonely than Sgt. Pepper.
Every morning was such a chore,
And every class was such a bore.
Every moment I yearned for you.
I burned, and churned, and turned for you.
I broke and breaked and failed class.
I choked and ached and scaled glass.
I killed myself just so I’d see
The love that was so dear to me.
A love to protect me from my fears,
And warm hands to wipe away my tears.
But what I found was all my yearning
Had simply kept the wheel turning.
And spun you farther than I could see;
Too far to ever come back to me.
And so I find myself alone,
Too scared to ever make a home,
Or venture out to see the day
Where all my pains are borne away.
And I wonder…did you ever love me?
Or was this just some fantasy.
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Published by Cassady O'Reilly-Hahn