How Do I Ask About a Condom Before We...

How Do I Ask About a Condom Before We...

You’ve heard it before in regards to safe sex…make sure you wear a condom! But how do you have that conversation? What if there is something standing in the way of you asking? Are you nervous, scared, afraid of rejection?

Don’t worry we’ve got you covered (no pun intended).

The first thing to do, is think about what you would say if someone asked you to put a condom on either yourself or them.

Would you laugh in their face or be turned off? I sincerely hope not.

Chances are you would say ‘okay’, take the few seconds it takes to put one on, and pick up where you left off. It’s important to realize that this is the normal reaction most people will have and that you shouldn’t fear being rejected or turning your partner off.

Now that you no longer fear asking your partner to put one on, the second thing you need to do is create a plan for how and when you’ll ask about condoms BEFORE things start to get hot and heavy.

A lot of women think it’s the responsibility of the guy to have a condom on hand. I think both parties are equally responsible.

There is nothing wrong with BYOC (Bringing Your Own Condom) and I actually highly encourage it. This way, you always know you have a condom on hand for that magic moment.  

Alright, so you’ve conquered your fear and you have a plan. The final phase is to actually implement the plan.

Be straightforward and clear when you express that you want your partner to wear a condom. Don’t tip toe around the subject. There is nothing wrong with saying, “Do you have a condom?” when the moment comes. After that, it is up to you to make sure they know you want them to wear it.

At this point you’re probably like, “But what if they resist and say they don’t want to?”

Then say, “I don’t want to have sex unless it’s with a condom.”

Done. End of sentence. 

Don’t say, “Well I don’t want to get pregnant or get an STI,” because the other person can and probably will find a way to convince you that you won’t or aren’t at risk for those things.

If they continue to argue with them, then I’m sad to say it’s time to get up and leave. Do you really want to stay with someone who doesn’t respect your body and wishes? I don’t care how attractive they are, ain’t nobody got time for that.

Love yourself, protect your body, and stay safe because as the famed rapper Lil’ Wayne eloquently put it:

“Safe sex is great sex, better use a latex, ‘cause you don’t want a late text, that ‘I think I’m late’ text.” 

Published by CCPE


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