On Being Single Right

(Originally posted on my blog)

Single as...just single. Yeah and I love it, actually. I realize that I'm only adding yet another singles post to the countless that exist already. But when on the internet.....(or something like that)

I'm not saying I prefer one status over the other, because they're both fantastic. I'm saying that I made the decision to be content with where I'm at in life. Romance simply isn't something God has for me to focus on right now. I have equally important and rewarding things to give my energy to at the moment. So I want to go a little deeper with this post (surprise).

Every "inspirational" blog post I've read about singleness seems to focus on ME. It's all about how I can satisfy myself, make me happy and "pour into myself" during this time. Um, no thanks. Do you know why? Because I don't find acting self-centered rewarding. It invites feelings of self-pity, self-righteousness, and a general attitude of "cuss off world." (you didn't think I would actually cuss on this blog, did you?) Have you noticed this trend?

Why is this the only response we can think of regarding positive singleness? Why not give your time and energy to something more productive than buying yourself a glass of wine and flowers ("because I don't need no man to buy nice things for me!") like learning a new skill (ambidexterity, anyone?) or mentoring someone younger/less spiritually mature than you? Or volunteering at a residence home? Because plenty of those folks don't have anyone, either. Pour into the lives of others as much as you can until you have that one person to give to. Learn to be selfless, not self-serving.

A recent Buzzfeed social experiment had two people pretend to be married for a week. At the beginning, things were just silly. The "couple's" views on marriage seemed naive and selfish. But by the end of the week, their opinions had made an almost 180 degree turn. The main point they both took away from the experiment was that marriage is an act of complete selflessness. So by focusing your attention on the needs and happiness of others in your life, you are getting practice. At the same time, you are helping to make someone else feel special and cared for. Which, when you think about it, just comes down to how we should treat people in general. Practice human-kindness.

Just to be clear, I can still buy myself flowers and watch romantic movies. C'mon, I'm single!


Published by Christina Rowland

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