I wish other people knew that there is another level to me. Sometimes I feel that people only see the fact that I like Harry Potter or penguins, or alcohol. This means at birthdays and Christmas, the majority of my gifts are related to the above.
Now I'm not being ungrateful. If someone has gone to any effort to get me a present, then I am going to love it. It just feels a bit like that is the easy option, you know?
I could take the easy option and get them something predictable but I don't want to do that. I deliberately didn't do that this year. I made sure the gifts I got people this year were something that they could actually use or, something new for them to experience.
We all put across a certain persona on social media. I know I come across as someone who LOVES to read. And I do. But I think (and this is probably my fault) that some people think I am more of a book nerd then I actually am. Then again I think this is because I'm comparing myself to other book nerds on Instagram and, I feel like I'm not as good as them.
What do I wish people knew about me? I've never really been very vocal about my mental health. I only realised a few years ago that the feeling in the pit of my stomach was actually anxiety and, not just me being weird. I'm still not very good at vocalising my anxiety but I am getting better.
I have a difficult relationship with food that has meant I almost had an eating disorder when I was 17. I say almost because it was never diagnosed but, in hindsight it was basically a disorder. I starved myself, actually hiding food and, forced myself to do upwards of 30,000 steps a day; For four months.
I lost weight, but obviously I couldn't carry on like this. I have battled my weight for as long as I can remember. I finally have it under control though. Thanks to Slimming World I am eating so much better than I use to and, willingly trying new food.
I take a while to warm up to people. I can come across as quite ignorant and, cold. It just takes me a while to find common ground with people and, I don't always know what to say. I get tongue tied easily and, then this leads me to talking a mile a minute so no one understands what I'm saying. It just gets awkward. I'd like to say I get better over time but the talking too fast never really goes away, you just learn to keep up!
Published by Claire Crookes