There is several different ways I could start this.
Technically I am a person…I am a woman who goes by the name of Claire and I am 27 years old.
But I don’t think the purpose of self discovery is to list facts about yourself.
Who am I? Well according to the Myers Brigg personality test I am an INFJ personality type, which I have been told is quite rare. Now I’m not saying I’m one for believing everything I read on the internet, but I have found that a lot of my personality traits do match those that fall under the INFJ personality type.
I am an introvert. I’m never happier than when I am sat at home in my pyjamas, I’ve got my books and, something good to watch on TV. It’s not that I don’t enjoy spending time with other people, but I do find it quite draining sometimes and, I need time alone to recharge. Otherwise I start to get moody and agitated and, just feel frustrated with others. Which isn’t fair on any of us.
This will sound bizarre, but when I meet someone new, I sometimes get a sense about this person and I can tell pretty early on if this person is worth investing my time in. I get a feeling about people and, it’s like I can see their true character before anyone else. This usually leads to three or four months of people asking me why I don’t like someone, until everyone else then sees what I’ve been seeing all along.
Right now I am a little lost. I’m not really sure what I should be doing. I am becoming more and more irritated with my job and, the lack of opportunities to move on. I know I need to update my CV and put myself out there, but as I’m sure we can all appreciate, it isn’t that easy. My biggest fear is that if I move, I’ll end up hating my new job more; so I just keep coasting along.
I am constantly tired, partly due to a vitamin B12 deficiency, partly because I need to sleep more and, partly because I spend so much time worrying about stupid little things that it just leaves me exhausted.
I have battled anxiety. This is a battle that I will always fight, but fortunately it has gotten easier over the last few years. I have learnt that the only way to overcome anxiety, is to face it head on. If you run away and try and avoid it, it will never change. Once upon a time, I would be petrified to lead team meetings or go on conference calls with senior managers. Now I don’t even think about it, I just do it (I do still proof read my emails about ten times before sending them though!).
This year I want to touch base with the person I was as a teenager and in my early twenties. I feel like that part of me is missing and, I want to reconnect. I found an old journal of mine from three/four years ago and I remember writing in it religiously. I miss doing that.
Day one of self discovery complete. Only another 99 to go!
Published by Claire Crookes