I swear when people leave us or let us go (cause it’s not always the other way around), if we accept that that person or place or thing is gone, we have an immediate option to turn on and welcome an open door: the door to start over. To welcome a
I’ve experienced lots of grieving in my lifetime – over losing loved ones from this physical world, or losing boyfriends, lovers, careers (ballet, anyone?) – and while I do believe in letting the rupture of loss/change break us down so we can rebuild ourselves again, I also believe in finding possibility outside of this loss: the possibility to regain ourselves. To look at what or who we lost, and not to focus so much on why we lost it, but more so what we learned from that loss.

Maybe we observe a side of ourselves we didn’t like; we saw our worst habits and shadows ides come out to play. We saw our worst qualities and insecurities highlighted in those relationships. We can see how we participated in those events and relationship.

But then, as the next step following grieving and loss: we choose again. Perhaps this time without the lover that brought us down, we get an idea of who we want to be. We’re suddenly free from that phase or relationship of our lives – we can either stay in the past of what just happened (depression), or we can move forward, turn on, and take it as an opportunity to cut through our own bullshit and move into a better version of ourselves.

Maybe we decide to love a little harder, defend ourselves a little less. Maybe we spill ourselves a little bit more because the world could use some authenticity, truth, and a ton of love. Maybe the story you’ve lived is the story that will heal the pain someone else is going through.
Loss can be devastating, but I’m figuring out it’s also a door opening up to what we really deserve or need.

(like what you’re reading? you can also catch me on my column @ My Trending Stories)

may we break down, but rupture so that our vulnerability comes forth.
may that vulnerability soften our harder edges.
may it move us, and may it move us to choose to move mountains.
may we write from the depths of our souls and let our hearts spill forth.
may we bring up others as we stay in our truth, our authenticity, our groundedness.
and may we find joy and adventure within new beginnings, ended relationships, and releasing our old ways.