As much confidence that I have gained in myself over the past few years I am still very much a self doubter. It takes a bit of self coaching from my heart to convince my mind that I am in fact good enough to go after every available opportunity I have in life.
Honestly, I must admit that this is a feature I've become aggravated with and in a way I envy those who are naturally confident in themselves, as though they were born with that beautiful trait. I, myself was born a self destructor. I have mastered the craft of mentally abusing my brain into allowing my fears and doubts to overpower any confidence I have. The reason I hate this about myself to an exaggerated extent is because of how hard I worked to build the amount of confidence I currently have.
This is also a reason why I am a major music lover, a certain song helps to add an extra dose of adrenaline fueled confidence that enables me to shut my brain up and follow my gut. My poor gut, I need to stop doubting it so much, it has never let me down. Any fucked up moment I have had in my life is partially due to blocking out the wise wisdom my gut sends. The other portion comes from outside sources that I just simply have no control over, the only thing I can do is to deal with the cards that have been dealt in that current hand. That's life though, a giant poker game. So learn when to hold 'em and when to fold 'em.. and get yourself an invincible poker face, that's essential.
Anyone else know where I'm coming from????
Published by Derra Sabo