Irregular College Student: Trapped in an Unknown Situation

Irregular College Student: Trapped in an Unknown Situation

First and foremost, I am an Information Systems student. You don’t know anything about it? Not new to me, so let me share a brief background about my program.

“Information Systems (IS) program is focused on the design and implementation of solutions that integrate information technology with business process.”

In short, we are supposedly working with IT and business people.

Having an idea that I’ll be going to finally enroll my thesis course (Capstone Project 1), I expect that I’ll be dealing with IS related thesis just like what happened to those IS graduates I know. They implement a new business process to a certain company because that is the main approach of that field.

Guess what, not to my thesis.

Last summer, I enrolled Capstone Project 1 with a hope of enjoyment while taking the journey. I dare myself to be enthusiastic enough. Little did I know the plans I have in my mind were quite far from what is in front of me—far from what is happening right now.

Our college, College of Information Technology Education, informed all Cp1 and Thesis 1 students about the special project ABS-CBN’s Knowledge Channel has given to them. It is to develop a game that is suitable for grade 4 students. Surprisingly, my group was chosen to be a part of this project.

I was dumbfounded. Clearly, I don’t like the idea. Why? First, I don’t have any background in the field of game development. Second, I’m not a gamer type of person. Third, my group is consists of three IS students! As far as I am concerned, game development was quite off the hook for IS. We should be dealing with IT and business people and company right? What on earth we’re doing in this project? And fourth, we have to develop it for the span of five months. Strict timetable, higher expectations from the department chairs, deans, and ABS-CBN Knowledge Channel.

I have a lot of reasons to decline this project, but we again, we were chosen; we have no choice but to say yes sheepishly and do everything we can to meet their expectations.

I feel like I was trapped in this unknown situation.

I have no solid knowledge about game platforms and programming languages. Anything that must be considered, everything! I feel like I’m doing something for the very first time. Or maybe, this was a first time. This is out of my control, even out of my comfort zone. I nearly want to quit.

But I can’t. There are a lot of people who are depending on me. My groupmates will lose their group leader, those grade 4 students that will not benefit to this project for next school year anymore, those people who are trusting and believing in me/us will be disappointed. I can’t renounce like that, because once I quit, I already failed these people’s expectations. If I stop, then I did not let myself be stretched to a new environment. Therefore, there will be no growth.

“For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

– Jeremiah 29:11

Then I came to this verse. I was so reminded on how I started my crazy ride. All along, I was so focused on my own plans—to work on my IS related thesis and to graduate by the end of first semester. I was so focused that I failed to recognize God’s will. This is what He wants for me. He placed me in this unknown situation because this is what He planned for so long—long before I was born.

Deadlines are scary, revisions are endless, expectations are inevitable, and everything is frustrating. Seriously, looking at this project suffocates me. Right now, we are in the middle of the project’s development phase. Hopefully, we should be finished by the end of September. Sometimes, I end up thinking “What would happen after five months?” Are we still alive and sane at that time? I hope so, because I have no idea what’s going to happen next week, next month, or the next five months.

But this is one thing I am certain of.

“The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”

– Deuteronomy 31:8

I have this huge fear for the unknown future, just like my fear in this unknown situation, but this verse placed a security and assurance in my heart. I entered this journey unprepared, I may be still lacking of the skills and knowledge I need right now, I may have no idea where this project leads, I may not know if I will graduate in October or April, I may not know if I could make it until the very end of the development phase. But I know God is with me, He will never leave me in this journey, and His Spirit will lead me until the end of time.

I know I’m not the only one who is currently experiencing a situation like this. Maybe some of you are experiencing worse than this, but I want you to know that God’s grace is always sufficient. We are limited—our energy, knowledge, resources, and skills. We will stop when we don’t know what to do next; we will be frustrated, we will be tired and drained, but His grace is limitless. God has placed us in a situation where we don’t understand because He wants us to know that He is far greater than our plans and that His thoughts are higher than ours. God lets us to be challenged because He wants us solely to rely on His wisdom and strength.

In times of great hardships and sufferings, I want all of you to remember that God will never leave us where His Spirit cannot sustain. Take heart.

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

                                                                                  – John 16:33

Published by Dianne Kathreen

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