The so-called dating in our generation. I will plaint you a picture: You meet a guy, it’s been four weeks and everything is going great, you like the same music, you enjoy the same memes so you decide to lay all your shit down and cater to him.
You are the type of woman he needs in his life for him to leave all the bitches in his Whatsapp hanging. He once said, ” I feel like I have known you my whole life” and BAM! He is trying to skip the part where he puts in actual and consistent effort to really know you but you are snorting that line like cocaine, getting hallucinations that he is the one. You at his place making Chapatis, while you iron his shirt, pretending that you understand FIFA just to show him that you aren’t like all these other girls out here.
You’re loyal, down to earth, domestic and all that other apron stuff patriarchy demands of us. Even going as far as always paying for shit because he is ‘figuring out who he wants you to be’- acting like an investor more than a girlfriend.
“Are you warm?” “Have you eaten?” kind of texts have become your daily bread…mothering him into a relationship. G.L Lambert calls them, ‘domestic goddess tricks’. Sorry to burst your bubble but treating a man like your husband does not make you his wife.
No amount of spoiling a man emotionally or sexually will get him to propose. If he is not interested in leaving the field because he thinks you are the one, he won’t leave them because you convince him.
You know know he is still texting and talking to other ladies but you believe you have the magic portion that gives a marriage hard-on to every guy you meet. Wrong! Most guys know exactly what they want very early on in an interaction…he decided if he wants to bed you or wife you soon after you start spending time together hence if he is acting uninterested, it’s probably because he is.
In conclusion, the only thing that can make a man settle down is the man himself. No amount of smothering/mothering, not even any amount of stripper moves can convince him that you are meant to be if he only thinks you are meant to be fucked or friend-zoned.
My solution is, work to be the best possible version of yourself. Do the things that make you happy and whoever finds you in that journey, walk together. Anytime a person walks away from you, that’s his problem not yours.”Getting a man should never be number one on your list” My father ones told me this exact words. And it is, your priorities are upside down.
Published by Doreen Eshinali