People are different. People grew up differently. Weak sense of self doubts. Self worth doubts and doubts on ability to understand people or difficult situations. Men do not learn that bad comments, on our looks, our bodies can make a huge difference to our feelings. Comments of how we act in the relationship is way out of hand. Saying that we are crazy, when you the one who started it. You might be in that joking mood you always in but I might not be. Women pretend to be okay and curve a smile on what you say but we hurting.
Growing up (still growing) I heard statements like, “You shouldn’t feel that way. You’re over reacting and you’re being too sensitive.”. They might have been harmless and insignificant but phrases like theses can tell someone that their feelings were incorrect and teach doubtfulness and denial in one self.
It got to a point in life, I was naive, gullible and trusting. I evaluated men andeveryone with my emotions. I repeatedly made bad relationships choices and I got my heart broken frequently. I struggled figuring someone out. Afraid of saying or doing the wrong things because I was scared of a man’s rejection. Scared to stand up to a man’s criticism, decent and hurtful behaviors.
Men spit out anything that comes to their minds and later say, ‘I was just joking. Relax. What’s wrong with you. Sorry’. They will absolutely do anything especially when they learn you, your weaknesses and when they know your love for them runs deep. Do you do it to irritate us? Or you mean it at that time then when you realize we are hurt, you play it safe?
You make us wonder are we just overly sensitive? Did we just misinterpret what felt like a hard slap in the face? If we are the ones destroying the relationship with our sensitive selves or what?
Most women just want to be heard. I want to be heard. Maybe we are that sensitive because you constantly think about your feelings. Your own self. So we shut our eyes to the truth. We deny and suppress our spiritual feelings even though the truth is we know you lying. Shifting the blame on us. We force ourselves to tune our spiritual voice and stay in a dysfunctional relationship that is so promised to break our hearts because we tell ourselves we ‘love’ you.
But the voices within us are screaming out,
No you’re NOT wrong. You did NOT misinterpret what he said. You’re NOT over reacting to his manipulative comments. You DID interpret it correctly.
Ladies, never let a man or anyone talk you out of your feelings. When he (boyfriend or husband) try to put you down remember this -a man’s dismissive, blaming statements are designed to make you doubt your ability to reason and understand the relationship. I talk from experience. Don’t allow to be a victim to a man’s charm, deceiving words and empty promises.
“Remember a who man loves you, wouldn’t want to see you hurt! They can fool your heart but don’t let them fool your guts!” – A friend’s Advice
Am a ‘Pretty Little Liar Fan.’ – Now you know! – Image Source Google!
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Published by Doreen Eshinali