Before it was We

Remember when it was Me, before it was We?

Looking back now, our life seemed pretty simple. Boring even.
Sometimes I think, What do you single, childless people do with all your time? 

Do you know what fills their minds when they wake up? Themselves. Not in a selfish, egocentric way. It's the simplicity of having only one person to take care of. Yourself.

I'm not sure I remember a time before my mind was constantly consumed with other people's needs. A time when I would wonder what I would have for lunch, where I would go after work, what friends I would meet up with for a drink. Benign, but personal decisions.

A time before every thought was interrupted, every want was sacrificed for a need, every moment was wasted if not spent with them. To me it almost seems like a past life. The separation between this life and that is so great, there couldn't possibly be any bridge connecting the two. Could there?

Mommy blogs and magazine articles will tell you, 
You need to put yourself first!
You need to set aside time for your interests!
You need to love yourself before anyone else can!

But what happens when you don't remember what You looks like? When the only thing you see when you look at your reflection is We?

How do we find a way to build that bridge between our past and present lives so that our strong, independent, fearless selves can make an appearance in our busy, structured, routine day to day lives?

We need to stop.

We need to breath deeply through our nose, filling our lungs with cool morning air.. long before the breakfast rush begins. We need to be still. In a moment. And remember.

Remembering who you used to be isn't being unfaithful to your present self. It allows you to marvel in how far you've come. But it can also remind you of your value.
There is no one quite like you.
That is what the people who love you see, whether they be big or tiny.
They don't see a family, a parent, a marriage.
They see strong, fearless You.

So what do we do, to create a symbiotic relationship between our two lives?
Sure we could listen to the mommy blogs and magazines Top 10 Tips to get your groove back.
But I suggest a simpler approach...

Be still.
Let her/him come to you in the quiet moments.
Most importantly, get rid of all the mirrors. Instead look into the eyes of those you love. The ones you would give your life for, would give every moment of every day to make happy and see You in their eyes.
And be that You, before you worry about We.

Published by Eden Boudreau


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