Okay, so not too long ago I turned 22 and I must admit that this year has been incredible and thus making it the most memorable year. Although I am slightly apprehensive to make such an admission as for all I know an incident might occur tomorrow that would make me want to retract those strong words. But you know, I make that statement only because of the memories and personal achievements I've attained.

About 2 months ago, my mum asked me if I love myself, and she was shocked when I, without any hesitation, said 'Yes, Of course I do.' Sure there are physical features that I dislike such as my body-type or my acne/hyper-pigmentation but they do not define me. When I was younger and people around me ridiculed my skin colour, I was puzzled. It's just a colour, no? If people were so repulsed by my colour, well, I would assume they hate eating chocolates too? But that's not the case is it? People just love to ridicule something that is uncommon. I don't think I've ever once wanted to be fair kid. I grew up to embrace my skin colour and I honestly tell myself, "Heck yes I am black/brown. Heck yes I look good. Heck no, will you be able to pull off this look as effortless as I".

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I was always the invisible one that either no one notices or gets noticed for the wrong reason/s. It's true when my dad says all it takes is one mistake to tarnish your (family) name and it'll forever be etched in peoples minds. I lost count of the times I've walked with my head hung low during my secondary school days. And everyday in my room, I feel empty and lonely. It was a dark period of time. But it's different now. It took me a while to realise that me worrying about others is not only a waste of time but completely fruitless. I had to use that effort to focus on myself, and yep that's what I did.

I might sound as cocky as Donald Trump but you know what I've invested so much on building myself to not only love myself but to be a better person, that I ain't even going to bother to act humble. But yeah it was only when I was 21 when I realised that I've grown enough to respect myself.

I've shared many lessons I've learnt here and this might be a little repetitive but bear with me guys. so what is the truth.gif

 1. Neither age nor education determines maturity
Damn if only someone had told me that being older or having better/more education does not qualify one to be more matured and responsible. I've said this before and I'll reiterate, irresponsibility is one of the most despicable traits ever. Okay so there's a difference between being childish and childlike. The latter is cute and the former is downright sickening. Don't whine constantly, find a solution. Don't complain out loud as it makes you pathetic. Be a leader, face your problems, resolve them and live life. Life is no bed of roses, and even if it was, there are thorns that you have to be wary of. Know how to lead your life, don't allow anyone to belittle, negatively influence or take advantage. Lastly, don't be sexist.

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2. Kill em with kindness
Through the endless feuds with my brother, one thing I've come to realise is, only a guilty person raises his voice during an argument. You raising your voice does not make any of your rebuttal statements any valid. Nor does the inclusion of any profanities. I, myself, love casual cursing. I try my best to never add them in any arguments or when making a rational/conclusive point. I never want cursing to reflect a mood or emphasise a certain, maybe negative, emotion. Cursing, for me, once again is well.. light-hearted. But of course, people have different opinions and really, I don't care. But the main point here is to be calm and never to think using your temper/emotions. It's hard to think straight when all you can see is red, I know. But if you realise, it never does end well. So, when you are angry, take a few minutes to think about what would have happened if you had gave in to your foul mood making reckless decisions- that may cost you. Breathe in, breathe out and think rationally. If the opposite party is ruthless, be the best unpaid actor you can be. Show them that it doesn't affect you one bit, even if it might/does. Cause when you smile at him, that reflects that you don't give a fuck and that pisses him more. Ultimately, you win and that victory/proud moment alone is enough for you to forget the words that once affected you. Never show weakness. Your smile should discreetly convey the message- fuck off.

 

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3. No one will love you if you don't love/respect yourself
I hate it when my friends tell me that they desperately want to be in a relationship but they themselves are such fragile souls. You have to be happy in your own skin. You have to love being who you are. Putting family aside, you have to be there for yourself. Don't depend on others. Be independent- Independence is sexy. Work for what you want in life. Love is inconsequential especially if you have not set or had any personal achievements. I believe that you shouldn't go looking for love, it (usually) never ends well. It should come looking for you. Additionally, no matter how much older you are, respect is a give and take policy. Everyone deserves respect and nothing less. If someone isn't treating you right, distance yourself away from them. You have to bear in mind that you may never know what future has in store, things might just go wrong, and you might have to be alone, and during that circumstance, you need to be strong enough to support yourself and those depending on you. Don't give up half way, follow through with it even if it results in failure. Cause once you have experienced failure, you know what it feels like as you have been at the other end of the spectrum. Find the smallest things that makes you happy and proud. Look in the mirror, find a feature that you love, stand in front of the mirror with only your bra/panties/underwear and admire yourself. Love yourself. You'll get there eventually. :)

 

I'm not saying I'm the most confident, but I can say that I'll get there soon. As for now, I can say that I am happy with being....me.

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Till later.

Published by X Biri