My partner and I were on our way to the grocery earlier, when I caught a glimpse of two teenagers, a boy and a girl. The sweet-looking girl, was looking at her phone, waiting for someone just outside the convenience store. A few seconds, it was obvious that her face lit up, smiling, blushing; and just a few steps away from her comes this young teenage boy approaching her. The boy was grinning from ear to ear, then shyly, he took the girl's arm and they walked away. It was just the cutest thing. Oh, young love.

Now, its a totally different thing when you're 34 and have been living together for 5 years. And don't get me started with having kids, its an entirely different story too! Haha!

When V (my husband) and I were still dating, it was just pure bliss. Romance was at its peak and every moment spent together felt like we were in cloud nine. And during the times that we were not together, phone calls, chats, text messages were regularly and religiously made and sent. We just can't get enough of each other!  

Fast forward to five years of being together, plus little V (our 4-year-old son), our relationship is the total opposite of what I just mentioned above. Nope, I am not saying that it has gone bad, it just transcended to a different level. Sure, romantic gestures and love professions lessened, but it is love. A love that is more secured and matured. 

I am no pro when it comes to relationships, but I would like to share what I have learned over the five years that V and I have been together. 

1. It's ok not to like each other everyday. V annoys the living hell out of me, and I am pretty sure that I annoy him too. We bicker most of the time over the smallest of things, and its totally ok. The key is don't dislike each other at the same time. When V sees that I am starting to throw a fit already, he stops. When I can sense that he is not in the mood to discuss a subject, I let it go. 

2. Choose your battles. V and I are both headstrong individuals and because of that, our opinions would tend to clash sometimes. Over time, I learned that not all battles are meant to be won - especially those inside a relationship. If it does not help or benefit your relationship on a bigger perspective, might as well just let it go and move forward to the next argument.

3. Set your "non-negotiables" early on.  Compromise is a must in every relationship, but you also need to figure out what your non-negotiables are. My non-negotiable is infidelity. I do not and will not tolerate this in any form, and V knows that. Should he choose to cheat, he knows what he'll be losing. Another non-negotiable is him not doing his share of parenting duties. We made little V together, so we should raise him together - no ifs, no buts. I let him be a father (and he is doing a great job, btw) Other than that, I am totally cool if he does not want to shower for 3 days or if he wants to grow his beard until it touches the ground. LOL. 

4. Nobody is perfect, everybody makes mistakes. If its not part of your non-negotiable, forgive and move forward.

5. Enjoy each other's company. I guess the downfall of any relationship is if you tend to see the negative more than the positive. Nurture your relationship. It does not have to be grand. Spend time with your husbands/wives/partners, make memories together. V and I may not have a perfect relationship, but at the end of the day, we enjoy each other's presence. I can't imagine my life without annoying him! 

 

Published by Kristine Rejano