How would you prefer to have a closer relationship together with your teen again?

Your power to communicate effectively together with your teen is one of the most precious skills you can develop to do this goal.

Once we consider communication, we tend to consider only of the way in which we could express ourselves. This is really important, but listening could be the single most crucial of communication skills.

As a mother of two teenage boys I know that 
it isn't always easy to communicate well together with your teen.

It's particularly frustrating if they aren't speaking with you. However, when I started applying these techniques to the lives, I discovered that people started getting along better almost immediately. There is less arguing between us, and our relationship became stronger.

1. Make Your Teen Your Focus

Give your teen your full attention. I know that this can be a toughie, because we tend to be so busy. It seems like we're always multi-tasking. However, it is essential in clear communicating that you create a point of stopping that which you are doing and really listen to your teen (rather than just hearing them).

Once you give your teen your undivided attention they'll know that you care, as you took the time to listen, and it will increase the chances that they will listen to you.

2. Obtain the Details

Hear what your teen is actually saying! Teens tend to offer terse answers to questions, leaving out details that could be important. It's 
your responsibility to be able to encourage them to open and draw them right into a conversation.

Here's an example:

Teen: "I hate my teacher!"

Parent: "Oh, that you do not really show that!"

Teen: "Yes, I actually do, I double hate him!"

Parent: "Well, I don't want to know that sort of talk. I am certain that that you do not really hate him!"

Teen: "Yes, I do so, I hate all teachers!"

Parent: "You think hating your teachers is going to enable you to get an excellent mark?"

And on and on the arguing goes....

Here's an alternative solution:

Teen: "I hate my teacher!"

Parent: "Wow, that you do not normally hate anybody. What did he do to obtain you talking like this?"

Teen: "A few kids didn't have their homework finished again today, so he made a decision to punish most of us giving us a math test tomorrow!"

Parent: "That doesn't sound very fair!"

Teen: "No, it isn't fair at all. I desired to go over to Rachel's tonight to hang out and listen to music. Instead I have to review for that stupid test. I'm so mad at my teacher! He ruins everything!"

Parent: just listening.......

This teen surely could express herself and felt validated by her parent.

 

Published by Matthew Piggot