It's difficult to know where to start with this post - so I'm going to start at the very beginning. Okay, not the very beginning, we all know how babies are made. Let's try 8 and a half months later when our beautiful boy with his 32cm head came out of my 10cm dilated lady region. 

There was long nights to start with, but we were really lucky and he started sleeping through at 7 weeks. 

Teething was a bitch. I mean he teethed constantly from 7 weeks until about 26 weeks if I remember rightly, his front two teeth only came through then. After those he didn't seem to struggle as much, and they all came through quite quickly. 

Flash Forward 2 years (ish) and now he's a toddler that is getting his big back teeth, and eats everything in sight especially yoghurt. We're currently in the process of potty training, and he's transitioning to the lower preschool room of his nursery. 

I decided that I would do a post that shows a day in the life with a toddler. It will not be sugar coated, and will probably make you never want a child - but lets hope theres some good stuff in here!

First of all I'll introduce TJ:

He's 2 years and 7 months old, and basically the spawn of satan 98% of the time. I'm secretly hoping this is just terrible twos and that my child isn't just a demon. 

12th July 2016
We've been up an hour or less and things are already pearshaped. TJ has already used his potty a few times, and by this I mean there was the tiniest amount of pee each time and he expected his reward each time. Still its good. Immediately after, he helped himself to a yoghurt whilst I washed his potty out. He'd already wolfed it down before I got back. Jokes on his cause that was his last yoghurt until the end of the week. He has also spilt his juice on his table where his breakfast (crumpets) were, and cleared it up with the blanket he was using to cover himself with. He's also just put that blanket over the table and is using it as a den. 

He's just broken the leg off of his table and it won't go back on. He's been shouting 'come on' at it repeatedly. 

TJ is currently making animal noises, primarily horse noises whilst pushing cars around. Meanwhile  I just took full advantage of Amazons prime day and have treated myself to a new powerbank, my phone regularly dies and this was reduced from £22 to £12 so figured that's a lot cheaper than a new phone. I mean I've got no spare cash left now so I probably shouldn't have, but hey gotta treat myself sometimes and it's not like I go out drinking or anything like that. 
Side note: As I was writing this section TJ decided climbing under my legs whilst I'm sitting down was a brilliant idea and when he gave up on that, went back to his table and knocked it over. 

TJ has found a calpol syringe in the draw and is currently using it as a whistle.. 

The demon is in time out (in his bedroom for two minutes) because he decided to wash his hair with his juice. I've told him off three times whilst he's been in time out because he keeps banging his bed against the wall. 

He is back in time-out because when we took the dog out to the back garden, even though he was only in a pull up and vest, that it was a great time to run off. I couldn't even chase after him because the security door would have locked behind me. Usually he comes back when I tell him to, but recently no has been his answer to everything. So much fun, especially when I'm getting period cramps even though I'm on the injection which is supposed to stop them. 

TJ is actually playing nicely (for now), and I'm trying to decide on something for lunch. Constantly torn between making something relatively healthy for lunch or do i forget it all and head into town for something unhealthy. 
Lets be honest, I'm not going to be leaving the house. I need a shower and I'm not prepared to face other humans. Cheese sandwiches it is. 

Wants juice, I make him juice, I make myself a cup of tea.
TJ no longer wants juice so he pours it down the sink and asks for milk. 

Changed TJ's pull up nappy thinking he had done a poo. Only for him to not have. Then he gave me a cuddle (sort of, it was more leaning) and walked off to find his Peppa Pig bubbles, which he is now happily pouring everywhere whilst not really blowing bubbles at all. He also almost poured the whole lot over my laptop. 

Bubble mixture was 2 seconds away from falling onto my laptop - told him to stop, he of course said no. So I took the bubbles away. He's now screaming no at me, and telling me to give the 'bubbles back now'. 

TJ has retreated to the sofa with his pillow, blanket and cup of milk. Hopefully this means nap time soon. Probably not. 

Guess who is back in time out because he refused to listen to me when I told him to stop standing on his broken table.. 

TJ is currently picking his sandwich apart. Cheese is being eaten first and then he'll move onto the bread. Someone reassure me that this is semi-normal for a toddler? 

He won't stop burping. Big manly burps. 

TJ's just gone through naming all the items he knows on the Iceland leaflet that came through the door. He actually did really well and the one he wanted the most was ice cream - definitely his fathers son. 

He's just poured his milk into his juice cup and drank it all in one go. Maybe this is his demon juice. 

Now he's playing cars on the windowsill. Talking and making car noises as he plays. Hes so cute sometimes, how is he also part demon? 

Whilst I took the bins out, TJ decided putting toilet roll in the sink and putting the tap on was a fantastic idea. The bathroom is flooded and he's soaked. He's also back in time out. 

He's now snuggled up next to me on the sofa, being the cute little monkey that he is when he's not possessed by the devil. 

Used his potty, but not before refusing to let me change his nappy, having a huge strop and repeatedly telling me no. Then we emptied out his potty and he farted very loudly right next to me whilst I put the seat back on his potty, then did a tiny drop of wee. I'm glad he's using his potty but jeeze. I've also realised I should probably wash up but am I going to be able to since demon TJ is here?

Why has my child chosen the day I do a blog post about our day to be worse than ever. My cramps are getting worse as well so that's fun. TJ's behaviour is ridiculous. I told him three times not to stand on the arms of the sofa, and he just laughed and carried on. So he is BACK in time out. Today is dragging. Is it bedtime yet? 

Just to interject for a minute, I'd like to say that not all our days are this bad. I think his terrible twos are in full force right now. And as much as I am tired and stressed, and moody. I love my little demon so much. He drives me insane, and pushing all the boundaries, but I wouldn't change him for the world. Well I might make him better behaved... 

So, the demon is finally napping. Although it's supposed to be bedtime in three hours so that's going to be fun. I'll cross that bridge when we come to it. 

TJ is still napping, and I am watching Game of Thrones instead of doing actual adult things that I am supposed to be doing, like preparing tea ready for my fiance to get home from work. I should probably do that soon. Maybe. 

Okay I have successfully washed up and got everything ready for tea. At least I have accomplished something I guess.. Going to have a 20 minute blitz of the house before starting cooking. Although I am hoping TJ wakes up soon because I would really like him to be able to sleep at bedtime. 

I fell onto Facebook and haven't even began to blitz the house. So lets change it to a 10 minute blitz and pray for a miracle.

TJ has only just woken up, just as I started cooking tea. Its as if he knew..

TJ is sitting on the chair in the kitchen after having a tantrum because I gave him blackcurrant instead of orange. We've just been playing with the kitchen tongs as if they were a crocodile. His laughter made everything feel better.
The bacon I scoffed when I was cutting it up for pasta bake also helped. 

Father dearest has returned. At last, and of course TJ has become the perfect little angel. He's being really cutesy. 
Devil child. Makes me look like he's not been a pain all day.

I should probably get dinner out of the oven. Also I'm applying for jobs whilst TJ acts all sweet and innocent giving his dad cuddles. 

TJ is still eating his tea which was served up for about 6:30. Meanwhile I'm trying to apply for one of my dream jobs and the internet is being dodgy and keeps freezing my page and making me have to start again. The page I just filled in is very long answers and I'm not okay with having to do ALL of that again. Please start working, I really like this job. 

As I write this, I am being attacked by kisses. Clearly a sleepy and full TJ makes for a cute baby. He is also laughing at my lip piercing because I can make it disappear. Time to get him ready for bed I think. Especially considering bedtime was an hour ago. 

TJ's lovely father has decided it's a good idea to let TJ stay up and watch Ninja Turtles with us. I'm the one that will have to deal with grouchy TJ in the morning when he has to get up early to shower before nursery! Good times. TJ has just grabbed his blanket and pillow from his bedroom and is getting comfy on the sofa. Here I was thinking I could post this about now cause TJ would be in bed and I'd be all done. Silly me. 

TJ kept playing up so he was told he had to go to bed. He gave me a massive hug and kiss and then his daddy took him to bed. We're gonna finish watching Ninja Turtles and then I will definitely be going to bed. I am shattered. 

And there you have it. A day in the life with a toddler. Apart from some of the bad behaviour - as I said earlier he's not usually this naughty, it's been a normal day. I hate to say it but the cute really does outweigh the naughtiness. He's at nursery tomorrow and I know I'm going to miss him like crazy so maybe I should read this back to myself when I miss him. 

Parenting is difficult. There's no ifs or buts. It is a nightmare, but it is also the greatest and most rewarding thing ever. I love my little demon child to the moon and back. 





Published by Danielle Kirk