This one’s a little hard for me. I mean this time, this phase, is a little hard.

This is the phase when you can’t decide whether to let go or hold on to the teeny tiny hope inside you.

This is the phase when you want to move on and at the same time want the love which was never yours.

This is the phase when your heart screams, your brain thumbs and your soul cries.

I keep thinking about all the things we could have ever been. Things that never existed, things that were never supposed to exist. I still think about them though.

I would have held your hand, pull you closer to hear your heart beating. Adore your skin while gazing your eyes so deep that I could see your soul. My fingers would then run through your hair then to your waist pulling you more close to feel every breath upon my skin. You would be scared, a little. You would be nervous, a little. And so would be me. I would kiss you. The taste of your lips would be my sweetest memory.

All these thoughts, so elaborate, so romantic, remain to be an imagination, remain just like another thoughts in my mind.

I get jealous of everything that comes close to you. The wind that ripples through your clothes, your shadow that is always with you, the sunshine that kisses you every morning. I get jealous of all of them.

I do think about moving on. Let time rust these thoughts and heal me.

I do think about letting you go and free myself from this frustrating negativity.

But it is this teeny tiny hope that holds me back.

It is the hope I see in the glitter of your eyes.

It is the hope I hear in your giggle.

It is the hope of us being together.

Though small and flickering, I am still holding on to this very hope and letting time decide either to erode away all the possibilities, all the hope left in me, or grant me a wish and turn my dreams into reality.

Published by Jaydeep Bansal