DISCLAIMER: I am writing this to get it out of my system. I don't have the time to explain the small details or the longer back story behind the events I am writing about. I cannot tell my dad how I feel as he doesn't understand, but I have to write it, get it out, and hopefully I can move on from it.

​Dad,

Over the years I have given you so many chances, I always came back trying to build a relationship with you, but this time I cannot give you another chance. I have told you what I dislike about the situation, explained how hurt and upset I am. You said you understood, you said you wouldn't. I am so angry it is effecting other areas of my life, to the point I'm missing work and feeling lost.

You crossed the line when you let your son down. You promised him you wouldn't let him down, we argued about it and you promised and he believed you as much as I did. Then, out of the blue you turn round and say 'actually...'. Shock. After all the times you've let us down should I really be surprised? Probably not, but I always hold out so much hope for you to finally step up and keep your word.

This time you have crossed the line, whilst you are out there playing happy families with the people who are taking advantage of you, your really family are struggling, feeling hurt and abandoned. After everything you have done, you forgot our birthdays, we didn't even get to see you at Christmas. You would post a card through the door and that was it.

At the end of the day your my father, I stepped up and helped out with your pub, did everything you asked, busted my balls. Apparently it wasn't enough, I know you appreciated everything I did, it just felt like you have thrown it all back into my face. All I have ever wanted from you is your time and attention, I could never have it. I used to ring you just to see how you were doing and I would get 'what do you want', so I used to pretend I needed money or a lift as that is the only way I would get to talk to you for a few minutes.

You called us money grabbers, saying all we cared about was money. No, whilst you were taking your fake family out to days out, shopping, lunch, that hurt. I told you that is all I ever wanted, you said you forgot and you should have asked but it always felt like an after thought. I am fed up of the lies and hearing everything through the grape vine. When you went in and out of hospital people would ask me if you were okay, I had to pretend I knew, it was devastating. Hearing all the rumours about what you were planning to do, so I asked you straight up and you still couldn't tell me the truth. All I want is for you to be happy, have a life, do what you want. If you were truly happy and it was the right thing I would completely support your decisions and stand by you, but it's not.

So now, you can stick it if I am honest. I will not let you hurt me anymore, I will not let you let down my brother anymore. I will always love you, and I know you love me unconditionally, but you never truly stepped up. I will always be there when it all falls to shit because I would hate to know you were struggling. I am going to focus on myself and not let your dramas take over my life and effect my mental health. I have a great family who care and a boyfriend who supports me through all this.

So Dad, take care.

 

Published by Katy-Jane Pitt