A LOVER'S DIARY: LOVE SAGA (DAY 5) Like 1 Twitter Al Phacarl Follow Aug. 14, 2016, 3:20 p.m. in Life and Styles Views: 947 Like us on facebook Reminiscing on all my girl's been through, and all I have put her through either because of my egocentric attitude towards life or my lackadaisical attitude towards our relationship, I feel sadness along with guilt and shame. She truly deserves way better than she's getting from me at the moment, she shouldn't be having even the slightest fear over ANYTHING, her days should be all smiles (like it was when we started out), I should have been giving her the best of everything by now. Well, after the other night when we actually communicated, I've acknowledged my faults, and PROMISE to do and be better from here on. *I should have made this post immediately after the last post, but I had to be sure I had everything in detail so I can paint a very clear picture as I REMINISCE on the STORY OF A GIRL THAT IS LIKE NO OTHER* I met her many years back when she just gained admission into my school, a University in the Western part of Nigeria . One evening, a friend of mine called Aja (who was my right hand man) told me he had just met two "small" girls and plans on inviting them over, he then made a phone call to one of them and they fixed to meet the next day which happens to be Leinad's (a childhood friend/flatmate) birthday, and we had already planned celebrating the day at a relaxation spot called QG. Aja's plan was to have one of the girls for himself (he would, if he could have both), and the other was free for either me or our other friend who was also Aja's room mate, Shodi (of blessed memory). I wasn't really interested though, not because I was still nursing a broken heart and a bruised ego from a recent (nasty) break up, but because I wasn't the type to put too much thoughts or effort in trying to get a girl, especially when I know it isn't going to be for a "serious" relationship. When the next evening came, I and Leinad, along with his girlfriend Ola (who was living with him, in his room, in our flat), all went together to QG. We were joined by Aja and two literally small but beautiful girls (both about five foot tall with big busts), he introduced them as Enzo (the one with the "busy body" attitude) and Addy (somewhat calm/reserved with a birthmark on her left cheek). Shodi came in just as Aja was introducing us individually, when he got to me I only nodded towards them and kept sipping my bear, i just felt they were too young to be in a company like ours, I never directed my conversations towards them, and the only time I spoke to them was when I said to Addy "I like your birthmark," she replied shyly "Thank you." When it was just past 9pm I suggested we start leaving so the gate to my building wouldn't be locked while we were still out, so we rushed up our drinks while I was informed that the girls would be going home with us too, I only nodded. A commercial motorcycle was hailed for me to go first, I was told Addy will be with me on my bike, while Enzo will ride with Aja, and Leinad will be coming with Ola. Meanwhile Shodi wasn't ready to leave yet, as he was still drinking and chatting with some friends he met at QG, so we left without him. I could tell Addy was uncomfortable getting on the bike with me but I could care less, and since we left before the others we were the first to get to the eatery that was opposite my hilly, and totally dark street, the only source of light around was from the eatery. When we got down from the bike, I just pointed up my street and led the way, but she hesitated, I turned and said "lets go na, that's my street," she said, "it's too dark," and I was like "okay, stay there and wait for them then," and I left her there in front of the eatery. I got to my gate just in time before it was locked for the night, I kept it open, went upstairs to our flat, got into my room, lit a candle, got my pen and my writing pad, laid on my bed, and started writing a song (I do that most nights before sleeping). The others came in a couple of minutes later, Aja came to plead with me to let Addy sleep in my room for the night, while he will be with Enzo in the third room (it's owner, Fidel, wasn't around), I agreed but told him i'm not leaving my room or bed for anybody, he also suggested I have sex with her but I said no, and he laughed and went to bring in Addy while he took Enzo to Fidel's room. Just then we heard a bang at the door, it was Shodi, he was upset for being left behind, thinking he was being sidelined so as not to get his "share" of the girls, my guy literally "jumped over the fence" to get into my compound since the main gate was already locked, then he barged in my room, took Addy by the hand and led her outside to my balcony. I'm pretty sure Enzo was scared Shodi was going to hurt Addy or something, because she was uncomfortably pacing. Anyway, when we looked through the window to the balcony we saw him (briefly) making out with her, and since it was dark I couldn't tell if she was responding or not, so I went back to my room, but was surprised when she Addy walked in behind me like she was following me. I was told later that she got up and practically ran out on him as he was making out with her. Enzo came into my room about an hour later to lay on the bed with Addy, striking up little talks with me. From our conversations I knew a lot about both of them; Enzo was the wild and busy body type, the one who liked the nightlife, partying, alcohol and boys, I also found out that it was she who cajoled Addy into coming along with her to my house that night, saying she didn't want to be alone. While Addy was the direct opposite of Enzo, she was the "mummy and daddy's girl" of the duo. We talked for a while before they both fell asleep on my bed, while I sat up on the bed all night. I'm never comfortable lying with strangers, most especially when they are girls, and I wasn't going to vacate my room for them either. It was a very long night. They all left the next morning, but the girls came back in the evening since Enzo was now friends with everybody else, and trying to be friends with me too. They came over for like four consecutive days, and my room was their base/comfort zone. Enzo was now Aja's girlfriend, or should I say "one of Aja's girlfriends," while Addy was free because (according to Enzo) she wasn't interested in Shodi. Meanwhile Leinad was using gimmicks to win Addy's attention, playfully calling her his "soulmate" and eventually getting her to call him the same, I was watching all these and smiling, it was funny because I knew she was thinking he was only being friendly, while he was really making a pass at her. You see I grew up with Leinad and I know all his moves, 1 out of 10 times he's lucky, the other 9 times, he only ever succeeds in making them "just" friends and nothing more. It's not like I was the "saint" or faithful lover in the crew, I was far from that, but I was the only one not in any relationship at that time, and I wasn't interested in getting into any. It was barely some months back I was heartbroken, I wanted only to flirt around while I devising plans to get my ex (Rashida) back, not because I was still in love but because I was seeking revenge. I even made a statement that period in front of my friends, with Ola, Enzo, and Addy present, that, when I get Rashida back, I was going to rub Aboniki (balm) on my condom and have anal sex with her, but they all just laughed, thinking I was only joking. *well, that's a story for some other time* As I was saying, I was single, Leinad had a girlfriend who lived with him. Aja had girlfriends (and now Enzo's one too, he would even add Addy if he could). Shodi also had a girlfriend (a very serious relationship). You should know that even though I was single, it didn't mean I was better than any of them, I just wasn't interested in any girl at that moment, all I was interested in was paying Rashida back, moreover, Addy was just too green for me. On their third or fourth visit, Enzo came to me privately... Enzo: Are you busy? Can we talk? Me: No problem, word up? Enzo: Don't you like my friend? Me: Why not? Why do you ask? Enzo: Why not ask her out? Me: Huh? Enzo: She likes you Me: (smiled) Enzo: I'm serious o Me: Nahhhhhh, she's Shodi's girl, she should like him (not wanting to say I wasn't interested) Enzo: She's not, and she doesn't like him at all Me: When they were smooching the other night? (laughing) Enzo: She didn't want him to, he forced himself on her Me: He likes her though Enzo: I know he has a girlfriend he's serious with, he just wants to sleep with my friend Me: Who told you he has a girlfriend? Enzo: I have met her Me: Well, I know nothing about that Enzo: You know jare, you're trying to cover up for your friend Me: I hear you Me: So you're telling me she doesn't have a boyfriend? Enzo: No she doesn't, they broke up some months back, she's still a virgin sef *Okay, pause, a couple of years back I walked away from a relationship just because the girl (BB) was a virgin. Well, also because she nagged a lot* Me: Oh? So she's looking for a replacement? Enzo: No o, she wants to stay single, she doesn't even know i'm having this discussion with you, I only asked her who she would like to date amongst Aja's friends and she said you Me: I will only break her heart (laughing) Enzo: You won't, I know you won't Me: Don't be too sure o, i'm far from good, I'm not nice at all Enzo: Yes we know you're proud (laughing) Me: (laughing) We talked a little more about it and I told her I would think about it. All this while Addy was in Leinad's room sorting through some clothes Ola was selling, and when she came back to my room I felt something different for her. I felt warmer towards her, maybe because I now know she likes me well enough to date me, or maybe because I felt the need to protect her from the others, her presence just felt warmly different. I started noticing how she smiled a lot, seemed not to be worried about anything, talked like a baby, looked like a baby, and acted like a baby, I had to ask her how old she was, she said 18 (that's 5yrs younger than I am), now i'm thinking "damn, that's young." Anyway I initially thought she was like 16 (Enzo was older looking though, I found out sometime later that she was almost my age). When Aja came in some minutes later I told him i've changed my mind and now plan on making Addy my "little girlfriend," and he was like "finally", we both laughed. They slept over that night, Addy slept in my room, while Enzo and Aja slept in Fidel's room. I and Addy were now alone, so we talked a little about ourselves, she seemed a lot more comfortable with me now, maybe it was because she already liked me, or maybe it's because I can be real charming when I'm not being a d*ck. Anyway, I decided to take advantage of the moment... Me: You have a boyfriend right? Addy: No I don't Me: Huh? What about my friend? Addy: He's not my boyfriend Me: But you guys have a thing Addy: We don't have anything Me: Hmmm Addy: Yes Me: So you've never had a boyfriend? Addy: I had one but we broke up some months ago Me: What happened? Addy: The relationship wasn't working so we ended it Me: What's his name? Addy: Beya, his name is Beya, he was the one who disvirgined me (shyly) Me: (Thinking: Huh? I thought you were a virgin? What was Enzo talking about then? Didn't she know? Or she thought saying you're still a virgin will make me more interested? Well, Hallelujah! You're not) Me: Lovely (grinning) Me: So do you plan on having another boyfriend? Addy: No, not really Me: So if I ask you out your reply would be no? Addy: (silence) Me: You don't want to answer me? (smiles) Addy: I don't know (shyly) Me: Ok let me be serious (my serious face turned on) Me: when I first saw you, apart from your birthmark which I liked, I just took you like I would any other girl, I wasn't even interested in knowing you better, but for some reasons I can't explain I just feel different about you now, I just want you in my life, I want to make you happier than you are now, treat you the best way I can. I can't say i'm the best guy for you, I know there are way better guys than i, but I will do my best to keep you smiling *not in my exact words, just a picture of all I said. I spoke for about 15minutes, and ended with...* Me: Addy, would you be my girlfriend? Addy: (looks at me with teary eyes, shuts them, but remained silent) Me: Is that a yes? Addy: Yes (in the softest voice i've ever) Me: Awww my baby (hugged her) Me: Can I give you a kiss? Addy: (nods) Me: (kissed her on her lips for about 5seconds, withdraw and gave her a wet peck on her forehead, and asked her to come to bed) It was late at night but I can't say what time it was exactly, when she laid her head on my chest and immediately slept off (she still sleeps of that way whenever she lays her head on my chest), and it was a peaceful sleep for both of us. The next day when I and Aja saw the girls off, we met Leinad, Shodi, and a couple of other friends sitting on a low fence beside my building, we went to them and exchanged pleasantries. Shodi, never been one to hold his tongue when hurt spoke out, saying the others conspired to take Addy from him so that I could have her for myself, that I was using my position of power to oppress him. I always loved him for speaking out his thoughts so I wasn't upset at him, but he was wrong about the whole situation, so I just smiled and told him nobody conspired against him, or oppressed him, I would never use my authority unjustly or outside our fraternity *Okay hold up, lets digress a little, let me tell you a little about me...* When I was in the university, I was a member of a fraternity. I was privileged to rise in ranks to become the Number One Man of the fraternity, a position I held for 3yrs plus until I graduated from the university. I know when most people hear someone say he's a member of a confraternity, their reaction is, "so he's a cultist?" , "he's evil", "he robs", "he kills", "he rapes", "he's wayward", "he must be a hooligan", "he's everything bad." It's so sad, but I do not blame the people saying these things or feeling this way, because i've been in that circle and have seen how some miscreants corrupt the Orientation of an otherwise great Organisation. Let me just say this here FOR THE RECORD, I NEVER robbed, I NEVER killed, I NEVER raped, I NEVER ordered any of my guys to do such, and they NEVER did any of such on their own. My confraternity forbade ANY of such acts and i adhered STRICTLY to the Orientations, Aims and Objectives I was given so also did everyone around me. *We'll have plenty of time to talk about CONFRATERNITY later, when I write about it, for now lets get back to our initial story* I reminded Shodi how we don't use our offices for personal gains, and he knows i'm never one to mess with the confraternity's Orientation so he eventually laughed it off and let it go. *Sadly we lost Shodi 2yrs later when he died in a car accident on Zaria/Kaduna highway, this was a year after his final exams when he went visiting his folks in Kaduna. Both his elder sister and her husband died in that accident also....sighs! Still miss you bro! * Now to the main reason I started this story, which is the pain I put Addy through over the years, why I say she deserves much more than she's getting now... Just a couple of months into I and Addy's relationship, my plan to get back Rashida, my ex, worked, and now that she was back I had to keep her comfortably with me before dealing out my payback, so I had her coming over to my house every now and then *her "payback" is another story entirely to be told later*. One night Addy came real late for a sleep-over and met Rashida in my room but didn't complain, we all shared my bed that night with me in their middle. Some minutes later in the dark room, Rashida said out loud, that she had an itch on her back and she needed me to help her scratch it, and not realising how inappropriate that was especially since Addy was there, I obliged. But when she kept on saying "lower" even when I had stopped scratching, I realised she was only trying to spite Addy, but even at that Addy never said a word about it, not even the next day, she just kept on her smiling face. Addy kept meeting Rashida whenever she came around but I didn't even notice how hurt she (Addy) was, it was all about payback on my mind so I was blinded to everything else, I just wanted Rashida to be comfortable before I made my "revenge" move *story for another time*. A while later, Addy travelled home for a couple of weeks to see her folks but started acting strangely when she returned, you could tell she was guilty of something, and when I confronted her she told cheated on me with her ex, Beya. I was so pissed at her, not because I was in love, but because my pride was hurt. Looking back now, I understand how she could have been vulnerable because I was busy chasing revenge, while she was thinking I was still in love with Rashida and trying to patch things up with her. That whole situation made me ease up on Rashida though, but now I became very cautious of Addy, and trusted her less. Barely a year after that another girl named Phinny came into the picture, she was about a year younger than Addy. I even introduced her to Addy as "my baby", and told Addy to give her a tour of the school. Phinny was a girl whose picture I and Aja saw in Mabel's photo album. Mabel was a friend whom Rashida introduced to us, but she later started calling herself my sister, she stopped being friends with Rashida after our break up *I and Mabel had a history together, she also became one of Aja's girlfriend. Back to Phinny...* I and Aja made a bet on who will get the girl first (this was before meeting Addy), I had gotten the girl's phone number and convinced her to come school in my university, though I never thought she would, but here she was a year later. Anyway, Addy showed Phinny around the campus, even telling her friends and guys who wanted to ask Phinny out that Phinny was her boyfriend's baby so nobody should go near her, meanwhile, I and Phinny were being shady behind her. I denied it when she confronted me, but she knew I was lying, she was more pained because Phinny was now supposedly her friend. One night, just like the episode with Rashida, Addy came to sleep over at my place and met I and Phinny eating from the same plate, and she knows I hate eating from the same plate with anybody (not even her), but she kept her smiling face and politely refused when I guiltily asked her to join us. And right there spread on the bed beside us was Phinny's very short and sexy night gown which she later changed into as I slept in their middle till dawn. That period Addy travelled home for a school break that lasted about two months, and when we resumed I felt something was off, I sensed it during the break and wrote a song titled "Coulda Loved You." I even ended the third verse saying "maybe she's f*cking on a n*gga who's just a friend, could be her ex or a next door man." My lyrics turned out to be true, as I confronted her and she told me she cheated on me with a friend this time, and his name was JB (remember the guy I said was her childhood friend in my last post, the guy that asked her if she will leave me if he asks her to marry him? The guy that she said was just being funny? Yeah, the same JB. It was some years later she told me she had lied, that it wasn't JB she had sex with, that it was with Beya again, but was scared to tell me she went back to him again, that was why she said it it was someone else, hmm?. Okay, put yourself in my shoes, would you ever be comfortable with the JB? And the same guy is now saying some crazy sh*t to her about kisses and marriage? C'mon mehn! *I don't think I ever got over those two times she cheated on me, because now I was suspicious of her every move even when she's proved faithful time and time again over the years. To cut her some slack, she was barely 19yrs and I was treating her like she wasn't worth much to me, so she went back into the arms of the only other person she knew, her ex*. I think was really all about me back then, I don't think I really cared about how it all looked from her point of view, she wasn't even the reason I didn't have sex with Phinny, it was only because Phinny was still a Virgin and I wasn't ready for that kind of responsibility. But even at that I expected Addy to remain pure and decent no matter what, I always saw her that way and expected her to stay that way so I was both disappointed and angry at her, but I also saw the part I played that got her cheating once again. I remember on one of the two times after she confessed to cheating, I had sex with her (not make love), when I was done, I pulled out and with a look of disgust on my face i said "that was just Lust nothing more," mehn...that got her crying so hard *I think i'll still need to apologise to her for a lot more things, as I remember them*. We got through that period though, continuing our relationship, sticking together. The final straw that broke the camel's back came when I met yet another girl whose name was Dolapo, she was a friend to one of Aja's girlfriends who i've never met, she came from Lagos to school in my university. She had the worst command of the English language but her beauty will make you ignore that part, she talked a lot like she knew a lot, but...nahhh!. She seemed brilliant when she wasn't talking though. Dolapo started visiting me a lot, but acted like she was only being friendly knowing I already have a girlfriend, she was also cooking and bringing me meals every other day (you know what they say about the way to a man's heart...? That sh*t is true). Addy met her a couple of times at my place and they were both friendly towards each other, or at least they pretended to be. One day Dolapo came over saying she wasn't feeling too well so I asked her to sleep over thinking Addy wouldn't be coming over that night, but I was wrong, because once again, right there was Addy, standing at my door. You already know the routine, three of us sleeping on my bed, with me in the middle. The next morning Addy left first, without a word, just smiles. Now to make matters even worse, Dolapo went about telling everybody in her 'all girls off campus' hostel that she was dating me, even when she knew her next door neighbour, Vivian, was friends with Addy and two other of Addy's male friends/classmates (Darey and Eff) who come to visit her regularly. Vivian started telling them what Dolapo was telling everyone one in the hostel. Addy confronted me about it and I told her there was nothing to it. Then just a couple of days after she confronted me about it, she came over late another night and met Dolapo again, same routine, this was the fourth time she was sleeping with me and other girls on the same bed, girls who i'm obviously having something suspicious with. But this time I saw a pain I couldn't describe in her eyes, I felt her frustration as she left the next morning. And when she came later in the night to tell me she couldn't take it anymore, I understood. No one should be put through such trauma, such humiliation, I just knew I had to let her go, even though I knew she only asked for a break up hoping I would comfort her and tell her to stay that we can work it out, or tell her that i'll caution Dolapo, or something. She wanted me to make her stay, and I really wanted to do all this but I couldn't, I couldn't because I knew she deserved better, instead I busted into tears, I cried, as she cried. I cried for all the pains I caused her, I cried because I couldn't tell her how sorry I was, for the first in my life, I really cried for a girl. We made love one last time that night, and the next day we parted ways. But then a couple of weeks later I heard she was going out with her friend Eff, I was furious, I was told by Dolapo who was now officially my girlfriend, she had seen them come together a couple of times to Vivian's place, and Vivian confirmed to her that Addy and Eff were dating. I was angry because I felt they had been dating even before we broke up, I found out later that I was wrong though, he had asked her out a couple of days after we broke up, for her it was a rebound thing obviously. Still, I always knew Eff being close to Addy when we were dating wasn't over mere friendship, he was suspiciously getting too close for my liking, I even warned her about it a couple of times, but she said I'm always too suspicious and jealous, and now they are going out? My fraternity instincts kicked in, I started thinking, even though she doesn't know what position I hold in my fraternity, she knew I was in one and she knew the name of the fraternity, now she was with some other guy. Although I knew he didn't belong to any cult/confraternity, but still I didn't want her blabbing about what she knew or thought she knew me, so I told Aja to come with me to her house at about 8pm, I waited downstairs while Aja went up to her room, brought her out to the balcony, I saw when Aja was warning her sternly to keep whatever she thought she knew to herself, all the while she was staring down at me, you could see the look of hurt in her expression, Aja came down after and we left. All these I did because I thought she was cheating on me with Eff all the while we were dating, It got me paranoid, I didn't know how much I could trust her. Aja told me Darey and Eff were there in her room with her friend Bee (a girl who was squatting with her against my wish/advice). Addy told me later that when she saw Aja come in she was so excited and jumped to go hug him, but Aja curtly stopped her on her tracks and just said "follow me", she said she couldn't believe it was coming from Aja who was now like her elder brother and school father (Aja wouldn't have done it if I didn't tell him to though, and I let her know that later). That was that, until one night at about 8:30pm, just under 3months after our break up, I got a call from Addy, she was crying, you could hear the fear in her shaky voice... Her: Hello (shaky) Me: Hello, what's the matter? Why're you crying? What happened? Her: I was raped, Darey raped me *i jumped up from the bed, and kicked Aja who was lying beside me, and told him we needed to move now!* Me: Which Darey? *thinking it was her boyfriend's friend, dressing up while I was talking* Her: The popular Darey... (crying) *The Darey she was talking about was the then number one man of a rival cult, one of those cults who give confraternity a bad image, he was known to rape and steal, everyone knew him, they knew the cult he was in, and all the atrocities he and his boys were committing, both on and off campus, they knew about how he goes into female hostels with his boys, rape every girl they see, steal from them, beat up anyone who resisted and still have their way with them, yet nothing is done about it by the school authorities or the police. Now i'm thinking "this is it for this boy"* Me: Where are you? *communicating by hand gestures with Aja, signalling him on how critical our movement was, while he got ready* Her: I locked myself up in my room (crying) Me: I'm on my way *we were already out the gate* Her: thank you, thank you, thank you (crying) When I got to her place less than 15minutes later, I knocked on her door and called out her name, she opened up and ran into my arms. After calming her down a bit I asked her what happened, and she told me how she and her friend Bee (the girl squatting with her), were strolling out together when they met the Darey on the way, Darey called Bee over and spoke to her for a while (they obviously knew each other), he then asked Addy to come over, and told her he was going to take her to his house and have sex with her, but she begged him saying she has a boyfriend, even told him my name hoping he would recognise the name and her let her go (she's overheard I, Leinad and Aja talking about him, about how we knew him before he joined his cult). But when he said he hasn't heard my name anywhere before, she called Leinad and Aja's names, he still said he has never heard of any of the names before. Then he hailed a commercial motorcycle and told her to get on it, and threatened to harm her if she doesn't get on the bike. This was someone with a reputation for violence, so I understood why she got on the back eventually. He got on the bike with her, took her to his house, and that animal raped her. As she recounted through sobs and tears the tale of how she was assaulted by Darey, I felt responsible, responsible for letting her off into the wild alone, responsible for not telling her that night that we shouldn't break up. She said after raping her he told her that he would still come to collect N30,000 from her the next day, and when she said doesn't have that kind of money, his reply was "then tell that your boyfriend to pay," meaning I will be the one to pay the money. I burned up with rage, fury like i've never known, but I didn't let her see my anger, I just calmly asked her if she noticed him wearing a condom, and she said yes, I told her not to worry, that everything will be fine, and asked her to get some of her things as she was going to stay at my place for some days. Aja was outside as a sentry at the entrance to the building while she was telling me everything. And by the time we came downstairs Aja had a bike waiting, she got on it and went to my house, and called me when she got in. As she was safely in my place, it was time to take care of Darey. No! I wasn't going to kill him. I will never endorse killing a human being in whatever form and for whatever reason, moreover, a dead man has no lesson to learn, and I was all about teaching lessons. *Anyway, this story is all about Addy, and why she deserves the best from me right now, after all she has gone through. As for Darey, that is a whole 'nother story of it's own, and I just might tell you some day...* I got home quite late but met her awake, I didn't give her any detail of my movement but told her she has nothing to worry about anymore. She started crying again saying "I feel so dirty right now," so I held her close, kissed her on her lips, and we ended up making love. It was the first time we made love without a condom, and it was also very passionate, it was as if we were melting into each other, I could feel her fears disappear, in that moment I realised how much I was in love with her, right there and then I made a promise to myself never to let anyone hurt her ever again. We went to bed soon after. Long story short, we resumed our relationship, secretly at first, because I was still with Dolapo while she was still with Eff (I was more with Dolapo than she was with Eff though), that didn't last though. Dolapo, started acting up, missing dates, standing me up, always hanging out with men but saying they're just friends, always going to visit one guy or the other (narrowly escaped being raped one of those times). So I was like "what the hell? I was only in Lust with her in the first place," so I let her go and focused completely on Addy, and Addy left Eff, and we've been together ever since. Although a lot of other girls also came along over the years, too many to name and too irrelevant to talk about, but this time I didn't make the mistake of letting any one of them get close enough to come between us ever again. *I will tell you the complete story of I and Dolapo's short but "adventurous" story, up till the time, some years later, when her immediate younger sister said to me "I don't give a F*ck what Dolapo thinks, I want you." Some other time maybe...* Now I wouldn't say I and Addy have been living "happily ever after", the fault was mainly mine I admit, I became overprotective, over conscious of her every mistake no matter how little, I was angry over almost anything, I screamed at her, barking out orders, I became a dictator to her. All these I did because I wanted to make her into a soldier girl, a strong woman no "Darey" can ever take advantage of, not ever again. And with time it grew into a habit, a habit I now found hard to drop, even after she became the woman I wanted her to be, I kept on being the "angry lover", her beautiful smiles that lit up the room started fluctuating, she got scared being around me but still she seized every opportunity to be, she was always scared to speak her true thoughts/feelings because she felt I might flare up on them, yet she stayed with me still, loyal and faithful!. There was another (unrelated) incident that happened one night when I and Aja went to her neighbourhood to check on someone, as at this time she had moved from her previous apartment, but i've never been to her new place, so since we were in her neighbourhood, I called her on the phone to come meet us by a roadside not far from her house, she came a couple of minutes later with a girl (her new friend) called Wandy. Just as she was introducing her to us, a bus stopped in front of us and some policemen jumped down and ordered us to get in the bus, I asked what for? While Aja just hissed at the policemen and walked off, but the girls were scared and they got in, so I had to join them, but as the policemen left us to go arrest more people, I got down and told them to get down too, though Addy initially got down, but her friend remained inside the bus crying, so Addy had to get back in, making me join them in the bus once again. These money hungry policemen just go around picking up innocent people for "loitering and prowling at late hours," and the time was just a couple of minutes past 8pm, these girls were just a couple of blocks from their house, they were even in their night wears with jackets on, but hey...it's the Nigerian police, it's their modus operandi. We were taken to the police station along with some other "suspects", and they made us write statements (they'll even try to bully you into writing what they tell you to, as opposed to what really happened). Addy was screaming angrily at the officers, stating her rights and all (I forgot to mention she was a student of Law), her friend Wandy was crying, I was just watching smiling, fascinated (i've often heard about how the police operate, but this was my first time experiencing it). At about 11pm a call came from the DPO to the arresting officers, telling them to let Phacarl go. The officers weren't happy about this, it obviously meant less money for them, moreover, bail isn't granted when it's past 6pm and I was being let go by past 11pm. Unfortunately, the person who called the DPO to let me him know I was arrested by his boys didn't tell him I was with two other people, he was only interested in his Number One Man not sleeping in police custody over night (that's would have been embarrassing to the fraternity). So I was the only one freed, while my girl and her friend stayed in police custody for the night. Tears started pouring out Addy's eyes while I was being processed to leave, as the police officers mocked her saying I was going to be sleeping on my bed that night with another girl while she slept on the floor in the cell. Her friend was now the person consoling her and telling me not to worry that they'll be fine. I didn't sleep at all that night after I left, how could I sleep?. I waited for my lawyer the next morning so I could go get them out, but was delayed till about 11pm, and by the time we were driving down to the station, we saw Addy and Wandy leaving the station together with Wandy's elder sister, and two other friends. I didn't stop over when I saw them, I didn't even call to let them know I saw them, I just continued to the station to make sure all charges were cleared, because the police can be annoying some times, they could come pick you up some other time just so they can extort you *not all policemen are that way, or corrupt, just the ones I have ever encountered directly or indirectly through the years* When we were done at the station (only my lawyer went in though), I called Aja, and we both went to check on Addy and Wandy in her house (they were next door neighbours). Addy wasn't really smiling, her friend was cheerful though, I apologised for not getting to the station earlier to bail them out myself, Addy told me she was upset with me but accepted my apologies and was her usual cheerful self by the time we left her place that day. *There's a lot more to add to this story, but it has gotten to long already, so I'll have to end it here...* I admit to being the hardest person anyone can love, i've got anger issues, i'm proud, overly demanding, self-centred (or at least I was), but she loved and loves me anyway. She's never been with me for the money, she has even given me way more than i've ever given her. Okay maybe i'm a bit good-looking, but she's met even more better looking, and richer guys. Now tell me, is there any girl out there, in this generation, who is like her? Is there any reason why she shouldn't be treated like the Queen she is? Is there any reason why she shouldn't always be happy? HEAVENS NO!!! 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