Reflecting back over the past year of my life, it’s hard for me to believe sometimes that at one point I was the epitome of the word unlovable. I used to be so broken that not only was I incapable of feeling love, but I also found the idea that someone else could possibly love me as absolutely ludicrous. In fact, one relationship I was in ended because the guy deliberately said that he was incapable of loving me. Of course, he stated that it was because of his own brokenness that he couldn’t; however, my own hurt and the lies I believed about me caused me to disregard everything he said and believe that it was all my fault—that someone else couldn’t love me because I was too messed up.

One infamous lie that I used to believe is that no one would ever love me if I didn’t first love myself. I want to take a moment to state how ridiculous that lie is. How could you possibly love yourself if you don’t first realize that you are loved by others and by God most of all? I only found love for myself after I saw who I was through God’s eyes and realized that I was made for so much more than this world could ever offer. God loved me in the midst of my mess and never stopped loving me just because I was incapable of finding a reason to love myself.

I also want to state that any type of “love” the world offers isn’t really love. Alcohol, relationships, jobs, social status, sex, money, and all of those other things the world uses to try to tell you is where you find love are all a lie. Love in its truest and purest form is perfect, complete, will never fail you, will never upset you, is not selfish, will always see the best in you, and will never end. Everything in this world is imperfect, conditional, and has an end. What will you do when your job isn’t everything you thought it would be? When your alcohol causes you to regret everything the next morning? When your significant other makes a tragic mistake that causes you to question everything? When you realize that money can never buy something to fill that empty void you feel inside of you?

What you love becomes the foundation you use to build the rest of your life on. If you have built all that you are and invested all of your hopes and dreams into something that will falter and fail and does not last, what will happen to you when whatever you have made the foundation of your life is gone? Songwriter David Allen Coe said it best when he stated, “It is not the beauty of a building you should look at; it’s the construction of the foundation that will stand the test of time.” It doesn’t matter how much money you gain, how great of a job you think you have, or how many people know who you are, if you have built your entire life on something that could fail; your construction will fall the moment the foundation falters.

I said all of that to state that if you feel like you can’t love anything or if you have found yourself loving all of the wrong things, there is hope. In your darkness and pain, you are loved by God more than you could ever imagine. When you’re lost and looking for love in all the wrong places, God is right beside you and begging you to notice Him. All He wants is to show you how much He loves you, and when you take hold of how important you are to God, you will fall in love with not only God but yourself also. Being “unlovable” is a lie. God loves us all and sent Jesus Christ, His only Son, to die for us for no other reason than just because He loves us. Regardless of if we’re at our best or our worst, God loves us the same; and there’s no way He could love us more than He does right now.

God’s love is true and perfect. It never fails or ends. It holds no records of wrongs. It always believes in the best of us, and it endures under every circumstance. If we build all that we are on a foundation crafted out of the love God has for us, we would never have to worry about failing, and anything we build on top of it will always stand the test of time. We would never find ourselves in need of more, for we have been given the best, a complete and perfect gift, through God’s love for us.

Published by Amber Oglesby