fieschada
(n.) a strong, instantaneous attraction to someone upon first meeting each other, "love at first sight"
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I like you, okay! I know it’s stupid and I know you don’t care…

It was 19th of May in Summer 2016, I met him. The very first thing that caught up to me was his aesthetic eyes and captivating smile. It felt like the world stopped for a while, everything was unveiled with a slow-motion effect and some background music, but it wasn’t really that way. My friend slapped me on my arm and asked why I was staring at the guy standing beside the speakers. And then, I realized that he is related to my childhood friend ‘Ian’. I like him and don’t know him that well and this happened.. I opened my Facebook account and saw first Ian’s message telling me if I know his cousin “Linggit” and I responded with a “no-i don’t know-who-he-is”. Later on, I opened my friend requests and saw something familiar. I have this habit to stalk them first because I know some with just faces and not names and luckily I saw his picture and giggled. I admit that his name is very unique. Before this love-at-first-sight story gets longer, I want to let you know that this is not some kind of mutual or serious relationship that you’re expecting. It’s just a matter of having a crush and falling in love again. But then again, I found out that he is dating someone not from the Island, so that explains it.

Seven months later, he came back. He wanted to meet with me and saying that he wants to know me. I grabbed the opportunity to see him even for the slightest moment. Of all the good places that we're supposed to meet, it's funny to think that we actually met at McDonald's around 4:30 pm. I must say he still has that charming smile. We shared some stories, laughed, talked about life and even watch the sunset. He told me that he also felt the same but we never dated. We spent the last days of year 2016 together. Even in New years' eve to watch the fireworks show at the beach till' 1:00 am. After a month, we've come to the point of not talking to each other anymore.

I never imagined that our paths would cross; to give me a chance to know you.  We fell in love, despite our difference. Time felt short those days. And those memories are worth the treasure. Despite of everything, I will never regret or say that I wish I'd never met him, because once upon a time, he was exactly what I needed. My only memory of you will always stay and I'll never forget a single moment of it. And so I am keeping these memories like a photograph while on the process of finding myself moving on. But I hope you're happy now because that's what I want from the very beginning.

Well, there’s a saying that if you really love someone, you have to wait even if it lasts forever. It’s okay everything will fall into place in God’s right time. In life, we fall for the wrong person in the perfect time and we fall for the perfect person in the wrong time. Always remember that “Love will come to you when it’s ready, not necessarily when you are.” — Danielle Shorr

NOTE TO SELF:
“You deserve the love you keep trying to give everyone else.” xx, self

Originally posted: https://ddrowsymousyg.wordpress.com