Had I not seen the light, I could have born the shadow. I would definitely take the dusk as a wise man who eternally gazes at the transition between the light and dark as if he sees through the mundane world crystal clear. Sinking in a chair, I checked the forum via my smart phone in the glow of the setting sun, in the last dusk before more than three hundred thousand students are going to take the Gaokao. To the examinees, the College Entrance Exam is a ladder linking hell and paradise.

 My phone screen was overwhelmed with the blessings and encouragements from their parents, teachers and even strangers. But I am an evil man; all of that seemed meaningless and awkward to me. On the one hand, human beings are not fatalist. They believe everyone is indefatigable to process their own life. On the other hand, people are still vulnerable enough, set candles and pray, leaving their wishes to God, natural force or afterlife.

The intensity from the mute battlefield last year has already faded away in my memory, but even till today, I still query if God has already planned everything for his people. I think so in some sense. The Lord taught his disciplines to the ancient Hebrew and shepherded all of his believers. He had foreseen that I would be seating in Wenzhou-Kean University in the same day last year when I was one of the three hundred thousand. God manipulated my destiny till ashes to ashes, dust to dust.

I would like to say, I love programming. I can use formularies and shape varying figures and design plots where my characters go through the beginning and ending of their life, leaving their companions and then reuniting. Sometimes I ponder if those figures have consciousness like me, they will also smile, shed tears, love their soul mates and being loved, and cherish what they have been through. Since all their “memories” and “experience” matter so much to them, as the creator, I am not so cruel as to tell they are no more than digital “0” and “1”, simply obeying orders.

What if those created characters are exactly ourselves? I am a piece of code in a stream of big data as a paramount programmer sits in heaven behind a working desk, programming with a super processor. He is such a diligent programmer that he developed the whole system in exactly six days, a basic setting to the universe. Therefore, I would assume developing the part related to human beings was not too difficult to him.

But the question is since any program exists for a reason or the purpose of its designer, what is the intention of God when he wrote this exact piece of code? God typed every letter neatly and saved his project in a hard disk with a caption “Sam.” Then he napped after all the work he had done in six days. Nevertheless, he forgot to test the whole system, to fix the loopholes and to drive out all of the weaknesses. What he left are defective products.

I guess in order to prevent the whole system cracking, he emergently rendered humans with intelligence so that Sam, Tom, Jim … and all the humankind one day can spot the flaws in their personality and polish them in the name of our creator. That is the reason why I am sitting right here, right now; not only following my destiny, but also exploring it. I chased after moments like the College Entrance Exam as the final last light of the day drowned in the horizon.

The lingering sunlight was eventually obliterated by the rapidly falling night; flickering stars and the crescent moon finally remained visible. I turned on my laptop, leaving my wishes to all the warriors tomorrow. “Do not be afraid, comrades. When expecting answers to the trials of God, you are actually god yourselves. ”

Published by Sam Chen