Let me start by asking if you have ever failed. Have you?

It is true that some people out there have never failed, not once, but you have? And you think you are just incapable?

A Nigerian parent would ask if the other person who did better than you have ‘two heads’. There are many questions that are better left unanswered, and that’s probably why we have the word ‘rhetorical’. How else would you respond to a question that has to do with you determining if the other party actually have a bigger head than yours, or not just a single head? Do you reply ‘oh yeah, he/she has a single head like mine but I failed and he/she passed’? Or you keep mum and lower your head down in shame? Do you sometimes want to raise your head and remind them that we all are different?

It is really sad when you have to burn night candles and read all that is there to, and you still fail. How about that goal you put in so much effort to but didn’t turn out to be a success? It’s sad, isn’t it? Maybe it’s better off that you never put in so much at all. If only we can tell what the future holds, we won’t bother ourselves about a lot of things.

Fine, you’ve failed, so what’s next? Many people trying to encourage you will tell you to move on. I’m not saying that’s not what this article is about, we know ‘moving on’ is always the finishing line to encourage someone in a situation like this. However, I won’t be telling you to move on like every other person would.

When I fail and I’m down and I feel like I’m incapable, I find it really annoying sometimes when someone comes to tell me to ‘move on’. Sometimes, these words are encouraging, but other times, they are not. They are just there as two ordinary powerless words. Funnily, the person telling you to move on could be your inner being and not one mortal being that can calm you with soothing words or a hug. So, you are just there, wondering if to move or just remain in your mess!

About remaining in your own mess, this often results from too many failures, that you think you can never rise anymore and nothing good can ever come out of you. Then you begin to wonder if those people who get it right actually have two heads. The other head could be invisible; you know?

Left to me, I don’t think any human walk around with two heads, and if we want to talk about our brains and how much of a genius some people are, I’ll doubt that too.  This may not go down too well with you and it is enough argument on its own. I believe our brains are the same, all we need to do is to trigger it right.

Seriously? Yeah, seriously.  

That I cannot read and assimilate better doesn’t mean I am duller than the other person who actually reads and assimilates better. What if I try to get the right means for me to assimilate better? What if I decide to put in more effort?

Sometimes, we’ve really got to push smart and hard; to do what we have to, in order to get what we want. You really do not have to work yourself out to achieve what you want, all you need to do is to be smarter; know what works for you and deal with it. What works for your bestie may not work for you.

I’m beginning to learn something really interesting in life, and that’s not comparing myself with any other person, no matter who! This has been working for me lately, and I’m really enjoying it. My life is not yours, neither is yours mine. Let’s live our lives the way it’ll work for us.

That you stuffed yourself with food when you failed and it got you back on your feet doesn’t mean it will work for me. That you cried your eyes all night and felt better, doesn’t necessarily mean I have to do same. We are not same, and we don’t have to be same. Can we maintain our peculiarity?

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Published by Oluwatosin Faith Kolawole