It's been said that the only constant is change in this life. It doesn't matter if we like change, if we hate change, or if we do everything we can to avoid change. Over the course of our lifetimes things will change. People come and go. Circumstances are better and worse.

So why is it that when I'm faced with change I feel anxiety, grief, and doubt?

I've been through changes before - some huge changes in fact - and everything turned out fine. So it stands to reason that the recent changes I've experienced and the ones I know are coming will turn out fine too. And on one level I know this. I know that the next steps in my life and R.J.'s are going to awesome. We'll hit a few bumps, maybe fall down a couple of times, but then we'll get right back up and keep going and be better for it.

I know this just as I know that I can't keep change from happening nor would I want to.

Change is necessary if I'm going to keep learning and growing. I may not be comfortable while things are changing, but whoever said life was going to be comfortable all the time?

And yet I struggle, not because change is hard on me, but because I know any changes I make or happen to me will affect those closest to me. I suppose it's only natural that I want to protect my loved ones from everything that might hurt them, but change is something that's out of my control.

Change happens whether any of us want it to or not. And the more we fight it the harder it is. Even though I know this, I still fight it. I still grieve over what I have to let go of in order to gain the next thing. I'm still scared of becoming someone I always thought I never wanted to be. I still doubt I have what it takes to accomplish my dreams and be successful.

So as this year closes and a new one begins, I'm beginning the arduous task of accepting the inevitability of change.

Who's with me?

Published by Cathy Langer