The baby demands to be held. To be rocked. They tell her to put him down, teach babies to sleep, to settle, the baby cries. She cries. It's too hard. He is busy. He can't help her. He can't come when she takes the baby to meet her family.

She tries to go back to work. She is guilty for leaving the baby. She feels worse if she doesn't work. She misses the baby. Her breasts ache. She cries. She feels inadequate. She is not pulling her weight. He yells at her. She cries some more. Wishes she was two people. He works. She is a burden. Her breasts ache. It is too hard.

She is so proud. The baby is fat, warm and healthy. The sunshine. The baby laughs. Her whole world. She loves them both. They laugh. The baby's birthday cake. Fat baby kisses. More laughter.

Mischief as the baby grows.

Another baby. Love, laughter. Prayers. Sleep. Tears.

She sleeps. She can't do it all. It is never enough. She wants to be the perfect mother, the perfect wife. The daughter they wanted. She cries. It is eating her up. She believes it.

She is not a good mother. She loves these kids. She would change it all in a heart beat if only she knew how. She wishes she could go back. She is sorry. So many hopes and dreams. She believes him again. She loves them. She prays. She cries and she tries again. 

Published by Kristy Hunt