A few weekends back we watched a Property Brothers marathon that was on HGTV. We quite enjoy the home improvement shows and I really get excited for our future watching families transition from tiny apartments/houses into their dream homes. One episode in particular really hit me because this family was finding a home that was going to be suitable for their kids to grow up in. As you may know, Jesse and I have a little one now and most of my world is consumed with creating a stable life for our son. The home that this family was planning to move out of was rather nice, but it wasn't big enough for their growing family. When asked about their residence the wife made a comment that awoke my entire being. She said, "This used to be a dream kitchen once upon a time, but now the dream has changed." 

This got me thinking about how insanely realistic this statement is for me and my growing family. Dreams can and often do change and I would venture to say that this is a reality for most of us!  Change can be quite difficult for people to embrace willingly, but the beauty of life is the unique pathways that this journey takes us on. This was illuminated for me greatly and I realized not only the truth in the statement, but I realized how this has been playing out in my own life.

There was a time when I truly believed that I would finish school and move on to some big career where I would make millions. Okay, that's not entirely true but I did expect that I would devote myself to a career path and that that would be my main focus in life. (Well, that and my cat...😂) This dream was perfect for me at that time in my life. It encouraged me to dedicate myself to my education, extracurriculars and work. I may not have stayed at jobs for very long, but I branched out a lot and tasted a variety of different fields. I really enjoyed learning different things both in and out of the classroom and had a blast meeting new people at every place I explored. I had spent so much time in these failed relationships that the idea of a future with a husband and kid(s) was outrageous to me. At that point in my life, Sit Still, Look Pretty by Daya would have easily been my anthem. I was enamored with the idea of living my own individual life and leaving the rest of the "American Dream" behind. The moment that my husband and I found each other was enough to reevaluate that dream. I found myself contemplating a future with someone other than my furry feline (I know, weird right?). I was in love with the idea of what we could and would accomplish together. This was the beginning of my altered dream. 

When we found out that we were pregnant, I remember every bit of my world exploding. It seemed as though everything was changing overnight and I didn't have time to really figure out what that meant for me, let alone us. I was so happy to have the opportunity to carry a child as I know many women aren't able to do so, but I remember crashing face first into these selfish moments of irritation and frustration. How was I going to be able to be a mother and still chase my dreams? How was I going to give up being able to just go out whenever I felt like it? How was I going to baby proof my world? How was I going to be able to enjoy my life when I was being told I had to give it up for my child? I was exhausted and terrified of what this meant for the future. It wasn't until my son was born that I realized there was so much more to the dream than I'd ever imagined. As the wife on Property Brothers said so eloquently, "...the dream has changed." 

I find myself now dreaming of a cozy home where my son can grow and learn without fear. I dream of ways to better myself so that I can in turn better him. I dream of the milestones and the achievements of this beautiful human that I get to raise. While this was never what I had imagined for my life prior to my son's arrival, I'm overwhelmed with how lucky I am to have an opportunity at these dreams now. I have found so many secret compartments in my heart and soul that I never knew existed until now and I am so incredibly eager to see where this is going to take us in the future. Most likely, the dreams will begin to shift and alternate as time passes, but for now, this dream is exactly what I want it to be. I've come to this brilliant realization that it is not only commonplace for dreams to change, but it is okay (and even encouraged) for this to happen. I wouldn't change my life now if someone paid me billions of dollars, nor would I change where I was in my life years ago. Every step of the way has been a journey that I am so thankful and lucky to be on. 

Here's to the old dreams, the new dreams, and the dreams yet to manifest in this crazy beautiful life! 💙

Published by Alexandra Yearley