Five months ago, I wrote an open letter. Fresh from heartbreak, I poured my heart & soul into writing something raw and special for someone – someone I would learn never really cared in the first place. If you haven’t read that, you can read it here:

https://lucyscoble.wordpress.com/2016/07/04/an-open-letter/

I considered revisiting this letter many times – I’m glad I didn’t because it would have been full of anger and pain and although those feelings are still associated with that piece of my past, that is not the image I want to portray my life as.

Five months ago, I was emotionally wrecked, physically exhausted and full of anger and disgust that a mere mortal had such an awful effect on me. I hated it. I was used. But that isn’t what when on to fuel my anger. My nearest and dearest were also dragged along for the ride and I couldn’t stand for that. It angers me as I type, but that is not what I am writing about. I’m here to write about my life now, without the trigger of my pain, my hatred and my anger, and how freaking amazing life is without that. So this is my revisiting.

I felt broken for a long time. Even before this year. But I have met some of the most amazing people in the world and they are the ones I owe everything too. I guess this isn’t an open letter to my past, but instead an open letter to the people who made my past worthwhile. Here’s to you…

Jaydee Louise – my one and only Turkey Dinosaur. I just love you so much. You have been the most amazing friend ever since we were 11. I appreciate how you stuck around for over a decade, through the good and the bad and I am so glad we never lost touch. You are my only consistent and I will never be able to express my gratitude for you.

Paul – my favourite Skaven. You have been my lifeline. You have literally picked me up and put me together again – thank you. You accepted me for all my weird and wonderful quirks and allowed me to be myself. I would have never recognised my full potential as a human if it weren’t for you and for that, I am eternally grateful.

Kyle – my hairy baby… and one of the strongest people I have ever met. You’re my rock and honestly, you make the day seem so much brighter even when it is at its darkest. I owe a lot to you. You have given me so much of your time over the last year and I will always return the attention and support you give me. It is an honour to have met such an amazing person.

Damian – what can I say about you? You’re just the nicest person I have ever met. You would do anything for anyone and that is a rare quality in such a distorted world. Keep being yourself and don’t let anything or anyone stop you.

Mum – I love you. You have honestly been the best and I’m so lucky to have a mother like you. I don’t tell you enough but I appreciate everything you do for me and more. I love how accepting you are and how all my friends love you. Thank you.

I could go on and on about all the people I know that have contributed to my happiness. My friends and family, new and old, are what I live for and these 5 people helped me through the past five months more than anyone.

How do I feel now? Whole. Happy. Worthy. I feel my potential and I will strive to reach it. I can’t wait to go on whacky adventures with my friends, have awkward family moments and belong to someone deserving of me.

My past destroyed me and this part of the letter is for you. You were the best and worst thing to ever happen to me. It makes me laugh because look at me now – no one pities me and no one is in my life who doesn’t want to be. You gave me the confidence I needed and the family I never knew existed, the stuff you took for granted is mine and my gratitude for them is real. So, my future thanks you – for everything I am now and the freedom that came along with it.

 

Yours sincerely,

Lucy

Published by Lucy Scoble