*What's love? The question most people think can't be answered, a question that I thought I could answer by just saying to whoever asks... "love is what you see in my relationship," boy was I wrong, I have absolutely no clue what love is. Here, i'm talking about love in a "romantic/couple relationship" context, and not the "universal brotherly love" context (at least I know how to define that one)* After my "first love" (Tina) who was 6yrs older than i "broke my heart" when she went dating her "agemate", I knew with time I would "love" another because I was still very young. Then I met Rashida, that ended badly for me too. I wouldn't say that I loved her more than Tina, but I was more heartbroken by her deceit, probably because I was older and felt I was supposed to have known better, or... "I don't know". I was so heartbroken by Rashida that all I could think about was "revenge", I felt she had to pay for betraying/hurting me so badly. I was so angry, and thought to stay away from "love", not because I no longer believed in it, but because I was tired of being heartbroken, and I knew or thought I wouldn't survive anymore heartbreak. Along came Addy, she was 5yrs younger than I. It wasn't love at first sight but it grew on us gradually (or should I say on me) *Read "LOVE SAGA - Day 5 (Reminiscing)" for details* Addy is a girl I love more than anything in the entire world, she is the reason I do everything I do, my only intention is to love, hold, cherish, and protect her for the rest of my life, but i've come to find out once more that I'm only daydreaming, daydreaming in the sense that she doesn't feel the same way about me, or at least not anymore*sighs*. Addy and I have been going out for 11yrs now, we've had our ups and downs just like every other relationship, but we got through whatever was thrown at us (or at least I thought we did). Addy was my bestfriend, the only one I could tell everything, and I did tell her everything (except the things I mean to surprise her with). I made no plans without thinking about her or putting her into consideration first. She was family to me, one I saw a future with, a home with, life with, but yet again... *sighs*. (TO BE CONTINUED)