I think what saddens me the most about people’s stories of mental illnesses is how many don’t seek any help because they assume that everyone feels like that but they just learnt to handle it better.

This hits home so much. I keep saying that ill and healthy minds are mystery to one another, because it’s true, it really is. I imagine it is very difficult for a healthy person (especially in our hush-hush society) to actually understand what, for example, apathy, inability to concentrate or, well, depression feels like. How it’s different from what they’ve ever experienced. How it’s not just laziness, unconscientiousness, or lack of motivation. 

Same is true the other way around. I, for example, never know what’s normal self-doubt or some laziness, and what’s self-destructive ungrounded guilt or apathy. I mean, when it’s at its worst, it’s of course obvious. When it’s just starting, however, I tend to assume that I’m just a bad person, bad at handling things, and that what I’m feeling is totally normal, it’s just me who’s weak.

Yes, even now. Still. Even though I know so much more about psychology and mental illnesses now. Not to mention that it took me a decade to go get help. Well, I’m not actually sure about the numbers, exactly because I’d been ignoring it for so long, thinking it’s all normal.

And then I met so many people today, who had felt like that before the diagnosis too. Not to grade struggles in severity, since it’s both impossible and pointless, but I was surprised that it wasn’t “only” people suffering from depression, but also bipolar, and other more intense seeming things.

Do you understand how messed up that is?

People harmed themselves, people attempted suicide… several times, all thinking that everyone has those emotions, while they are just weak or something. Only after those things some of them got diagnosed, and treated, and got better.

Please talk about your feelings! It’s important to know that you’re not alone; it’s also important to know that you have it harder than it ought to be!

Published by Kathy Mynta