These days appear often. A feeling of incomplete… emptiness baby sat by a field of over flowing emotions running through my mind. Slowly draining my optimistic energy, confined to my original train of thoughts leaving me with a feeling of numbness. What else…….

          What else could go wrong, what else could I have done. What else can I replace these emotions with so it can at least seem fun?

Mind set telling self that it’s ok, everything’s going to be fine. You are a child of an almighty God. While on the other side, the grass is far from greener. Doubts banging my mind in hopes to leave an imprint on how I daily viewed my life. Hopelessly wishing my mind would focus on the chosen promises he’s sent me.

My faith is as bright as the sun beams; a great light fighting to be seen. Every time it’s darken, my heart drops a little more. The darkness… drains every ounces of happiness from what’s left inside, as my emotions flee sadness cripples me. I left my eyes just to see how hideous the look of regret, hurt, shame, broken dreams and a false reality may seem. Reducing the immortal look that once reached my appearance. You see while walking with the king, you are also seen. Placed high above all, to set a righteous example of how we should be…

Seeing everyone else’s dreams, while mine are still inside of me. Fighting to just have an understanding of self, gobbled by this dark cold world. No heart for warmness, no shelter for care. Striving every day to get away from here. But where is here or there when that feeling surrounds you everywhere?

Running…. down dark hallways; so many doors I see, unsure of which one to choose, not sure which is truly for me.

Yet With my faith in you oh Lord I can still see; the joy of all things that ring in side of me. A daily reminder to give thanks to the almighty king. And with my faith, I shall follow thee, in hopes to also lead, those whom were once just like me. To a place of everlasting joy and victory! Thank you dear God, for saving me!

Darkness fades, with Gods shade, he replaces the bad days with good ones. Daily remedies of how to live and endure what has been thrown my way. Living and walking in his faith, I feel free from pain, no longer in the days of mental emotional discomfort. Yet in that day, I found my way. All it took was this one tiny glimpse of light, I followed it for miles, years, decades. Keeping faith that where ever it may lead me, is where I was always meant to be…

 May God bless your dark days, in hopes that in a relationship with Christ all that is paining you, will soon fade away.

 Love you all, Jesus loves you way more!

Published by Cierra Nicole Crews