Dear Reader,

Just recently I had been playing an online game, League Of Legends; with my friends who happen to live far away. This was our second game, and I immediately locked into my character Ashe, because she is all I know how to play, and because I wanted to get a snack quickly before the game started.

Yes, I am aware that it probably wasn't the nicest thing to do. I realize a lot of people can/will get angry over things like that; but I had been playing this game forever, and if it doesn't make it worse, is the community is awful.

So I came back to some player, immensely swearing and cussing me out. At first, I felt a bit frustrated, and reminded myself that God didn't want me to be angry at him; but he just wouldn't stop. The whole twenty minutes consisted of him "bullying" me, and him not actually even helping the team. 

Yes, I am sorry I locked in. Yes, I am sorry that I "ruined" your night. I am sorry that you said those things to me. 

"Don't fall into the tilting (anger) Ash," my friends younger brother told me, "I understand why he is angry but there really is no reason for this." As my friend and her brother encouraged me not to be angry, I then became irritated with his attitude. If that's how he treated me, how could he treat others? What has caused him to have such an irrational anger?

Eventually, we noticed that he would spend his time typing up threats, saying how useless I was, even though he died (I hadn't died at all), and he really wasn't contributing at all. How is that for a teammate?

So, as I sit here I am reminded of the sin that we have. So, I am sorry to the man who thought it was okay to torture me online, and I am sorry that I locked in. I honestly meant no harm, and it reminded me how that even if we don't plan on hurting/harming/sinning we still do; because we will never achieve perfect righteousness on earth.

Romans 3:23-24

For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.
His words were nasty, and lies; nothing he said was true. I was reminded of Romans 3:23-24 (quoted above) and how we ALL fall short of the glory of God. Even if it was something silly like me locking into my character; or something more verbally abusive- like that man. I am reminded that sin, no matter what kind is still sin. There is no sin worse than the other, all is evil, and lacking the spirit.
 
So, my hope is for that man, that he might find Christ somehow; and if he does know Christ, to reevaluate his actions and repent.
 
Proverbs 13:20 He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.
I am constantly reminded about how I sin, and how I must strive to know God better, to be more like Jeshua, to be an example to others.
 
One thing that man said was, "Ashe get off this game, and go play little kid games" (this is a very discrete, nicely written way of how he actually spoke to me), but he is right. I should get off this "big kid game," because I cannot be the big kid, the adult, and in fact, none of us can. Whether you are five years old, or ninety, we are all children; the only person who can "play" this adult/big kid game is God. I cannot do anything to change anyone or myself, it is but the Holy Spirit whom guides us.
 
To God, I am a young child who just wants to help clean the dishes; he knows that it will take me longer to do so, but he lets me so I build up strength and character. I will forever be the young kid, trying so desperately to help, but end up creating a bigger mess.
 

Thank you God for being the "adult", thank you for encouraging me, thank you for loving me as your child.

I encourage you think, where is your sin? Have you repented? Do you love God enough to put away your earthly desires?

Published by Ashley Chapman