Being is angry is ok and no one can tell me otherwise. I have every right to feel my emotions. I have every right to be sad too if I want. I can even be upset in public and it is ok. Feeling emotions in general is ok and I am tired of people treating me like I am messed up because I am angry. You don’t see many people walking down the street raging or buying groceries and are just furious. I stand out like a sore thumb and people look at me like I’m an alien. What ….. did your father never tell you its ok to be upset ? Obviously your repressed because it is completely normal to be angry, it’s just that most people stifle it and refuse to feel it all costs . Why would I do that though ? I am a human and I feel emotions. If I could wish away the anger and never feel it again I would but I am not always in control .

Anger feels to me like a volcanic eruption . All of a sudden you are calm and cool and then the next thing you know your a raging asshole. Not only that the anger begs to be dealt with and released.  Pretending it does not exist just has not worked for me and I end up feeling very bitter and hurt .

Well shit….. now I am upset ….. what do I do? Well I decided I would go with it and release my rage. It is great for working out and going for long walks. It is great for not letting people push you around as well as cleaning my room. It is great for cooking a wonderful meal or doing laundry.

I screamed in my pillow and bashed my fists until they were swollen . I find that this is a better option than to bury it and smile until I secretly hate everyone . I find it is a better option than continually getting upset and constantly burying my upset. Sometimes being upset is there for a reason and I even tell people why I am upset. I find I feel better afterword and I don’t even care if they don’t change. I care that I stood my ground and expressed my upset and said what I needed to say. The anger has left me many times that way and I find it to be a wonderful way instead of pretending that you don’t want to punch the other person in the head because they keep doing the same stupid things over and over again. I find I am gaining more respect that way . I also find that anger is not even that scary of an emotion as I have yet to beat someone up or kill anyone lol.

I decided to stop criticizing myself for being and just say what it is that the anger wants to do.  might even allow myself to say fuck that bitch. Fuck that mother fucker for being so rude!!!!!!!!!!! That is perfectly ok.  I found my anger to be comical the other day. People were such shit bags to the points where I was raging and I thought it was pretty funny. YEAH IM ANGRY BITCH! STOP STARING AT ME WITH YOUR SHIT EATING DIRTBAG LOOK MOTHER FUCKER!!! I thought it was pretty funny and people stopped staring at me which is exactly what I wanted. I didn’t purposefully try to hurt anyone or take out my rage on other people . It just gets out of control sometimes and I try my best to control it. I feel like that is just the nature of the beast that I call anger. I just silently raged and watched as the repressed grocery clerks got extremely uncomfortable. To the point where me being angry is funny and I found it very interesting to see the strange looks. I felt so relieved when I walked out of the grocery store and damn it was funny how people were looking at me like I shouldn’t be upset.  Well I was ok with is and now it is your problem to be ok with me. If your not, I really could care less. Man it feels good to be ok with being upset and not condemning or criticizing myself for it. Just to be raging and for it to be ok. It is liberating and I didn’t even take it out on other people that much lol .

Thank you creator!

Published by James Jantzen