We all know that relationships are based on trust. You shouldn’t be dating someone if you can’t trust them. So, when someone has a crush on your significant other it doesn’t really phase you because first, who wouldn’t have a crush on them? They’re amazing. And second, you trust that nothing would ever happen because you trust them. However, what if this person who had a crush on your boyfriend or girlfriend did everything they could to try and push their boundaries in hopes of possibly deterring your relationship? How would you feel then?

I know that guys and girls can have platonic relationships. I have guy friends that I’ve never had a crush on and vice versa. But more often than not, one person has a crush on the other. The rough part about that is when someone has a crush on their friend and that friend is in a relationship. Not only does it put a strain on the friendship but it can put a strain on the relationship between the two people dating. No one wants to feel like they’re competing for their significant other, especially if they’re competing against their significant other’s friend.

Like I said before, it’s all about trust. However, things can get even more difficult when this friend starts to interfere in our relationship. They can start causing tension and put a strain on the relationship. And those kind of friends are the ones I do not like. The ones who have a crush, but don’t do the right thing (push it away because they know their friend is taken). They do anything they can to try and wiggle their way in, without any sense of guilt. They text their taken friend excessively, about almost anything. They don’t like their friend’s significant other for no real reason. They get needy and make excuses just so they can spend time with them. They want to hang out with their friend privately. And the funny thing is, sometimes their friend doesn’t even notice and their significant other is left feeling confused, uncomfortable, and annoyed.

Now let’s just quickly think about how their significant other is feeling. They don’t want to create any problems. They know that this person is their boyfriend/girlfriend’s friend and they really don’t want to make a big deal. But, as time goes by they get more and more uncomfortable and they finally try to voice their thoughts and feelings. And sometimes, after that, their significant other will deny that anything is going on and that they’re just good friends and nothing more. It’s pushed aside and the idea of bringing it up again doesn’t seem possible. So, they keep it all in. They watch as their significant other’s friend constantly texts them, has their hands on them in photos, and goes out with them for lunch. And this is what adds to the strain of the relationship.

It’s hard to watch the person you like be with someone else but the right thing to do is not to cross the line. There are boundaries and when you cross them it just shows, in my opinion, what kind of person you truly are. Think about what you’re doing to your friend’s relationship and think about how you’re making their boyfriend/girlfriend feel. You may not like them, but they’re going through Hell by trying not to let it affect them too much. So, please,just be a decent person and be respectful.

Published by Megan Wong