Unfortunately I have had my fair share of breakups. Now, I'm happily in a relationship, but my girlfriends are another story.

As they go through their own breakups, I am often asked what they should do. And of course as a good friend, and clearly a relationship professional (*kidding*), I am more than happy to help.

So here's my list of must do's after a breakup:

  1. Let it out. Something I feel like people don't do enough of is simply feel how they want to feel. If you want to cry until you laugh, do it. If you want to watch a sappy movie and sob along to it, that's ok. Hell, if you're secretly relieved, be relieved. Just feel whatever emotion you are feeling.
  2. Take a long bath or shower. Wash it all away. Clean yourself of the person in a sense. I personally enjoy a nice bath with some music, a book, and a cocktail. After a breakup it's almost as if the longer I soak in the top, the more the ick of the experience oozes out of me.
  3. Take care of you. That can be completely different for everyone. If that's an appointment to get a mani/pedi, a hair cut, a massage, or even an actual mini-vacay (my favorite). I've been known to disappear for a day and just escape to a beach or head out on a hike.
  4. Have a damn cookie or cake or ice cream or WHATEVER. If you want that extra snack, have it. Do you want pizza every night for a week? Do it. Do what your little heart is telling you to do.
  5. Finish the bottle. Wine, tea, coffee, whatever your guilty pleasure is have one. Or two.
  6. Take up that sport/hobby/activity you always wanted to try. I dated a marine for about a minute of my life, and while I was pretty active before and during our relationship the after was crazy. Once we had broken up I started to take barre classes and was in the gym constantly. I had always wanted to really learn how to use the equipment so I called a friend and he spent hours with me figuring out the best routine and showing me how not to injure myself. I ended up discovering that I love fitness. Who knew? Without that break up, it wouldn't have happened nearly as easily.
  7. Meet up with a friend. New friend, old friend, just see them and vent it out. Can't catch up with an old friend? Try Bumble BFF. No really. I love it. Just try it. And honestly, everyone I've met is super open and understanding and they won't mind if you need to dump a little.
  8. Treat yourself to something you've been wanting. Maybe it's a dress, shoes, a bag, a new attachment for your kitchenaid. Whatever it is, splurge and then use it. New dress? Find a place to wear it! New bag? Swap your stuff into it and take it for a spin. Got the ice cream maker you've been wanting? Find a recipe, invite the girls over and enjoy!
  9. Speaking of girls, round them up! So yes, this is similar to number 7 but here's the difference. This is a group. This is lots of strong, beautiful, amazing women getting together and taking your mind off of the drama. Whether you're going out to party or staying in and relaxing together, just enjoy their company.
  10. Be open. This is probably the hardest. When you aren't ready for someone new, it seems that there's always someone hitting on you, but once you are there's no one to be found. Staying open to all people and situations is the best way I have found to rebound a heartbreak. I take the word no out of my vocabulary and say yes to everyone, even when I'm not positive. I find that even if I have to force myself to go out, once I get there I'm always glad I went.

*BONUS TIP* Take his number out of your phone if you think you'll text them. I'm pretty good at pretending they aren't in my phone, and I despise deleting numbers. How will I know if they call if I delete them? But if I at all feel I'm at risk of calling, I will write down the number and hide it from myself. That way when that feeling has passed I can put them back into my phone for later.

Of course, getting over a relationship is never easy, but always remember that you are not alone. I hope that some of these tips help heal your broken heart. And keep in mind, this too shall pass.

Published by Emily Kelly