My ex would always tell me how when he first met me I was so sweet and innocent, and a combination of the things we were doing and things that happened to me made it hard to witness the person I was turning into. Claimed to feel bad, but not bad enough to stop lying! Not bad enough to save me instead of watching me fuckin drown. Not bad enough to not even save me but throw a damn rope, so I could try to save myself? No, just bad enough to call me a fkn stupid nigger bitch the other day. Nah don't feel bad, the nigger bitch deserved it.
      You ever been so hurt, you become numb?
    Do people not think about how their actions will affect others? Or do they just not care? I've been hurt A LOT in my 21 years of living. Not just by men, but my family, strangers, everyone. There's only so much hurt and pain a person can take, and I think I've reached my limit. I wanna just scream and cry and let it all out, but I know there's not enough screaming in the world to get it all out. I had stopped crying for awhile, and I was happy because I assumed I was all cried out but ever since that Ngr comment, I've been doing nothing but crying. I don't understand why someone, especially him, would or COULD say something like that, and to ME out of all people.
              Someone in the wrong ever hurt you to the point to where you start thinking you did something wrong?
 So what I'm a prostitute, I'm probably the nicest, smartest, and realest prostitute you'll ever meet in your life. I don't do it for the fun of it, I do it because I have a single mother who does everything ON HER OWN, working a fulltime job while trying to get her masters. I do it because my father's dead and my sister's dad is in prison. You know, nigger shit! SMH it should illegal to say that to someone. I see why someone being bullied could kill them self. Words can hurt you, they stick with you. Idk who they hell said "I'm rubber your glue whatever jumps off me and sticks on you" that's bullshit. You can go to jail if someone you bullied commits suicide. Let me kill myself, they'd probably be like, "why'd she kill herself like she hasn't been called that before" and blow it off. What a fuckin way to start my September and my weekend. If only I could just go to sleep and NEVER wake up.
                   Has a loved one ever hurt you so bad it made you never want to love again?
Well that's how I'm feeling. I have no more love to give, not even to myself and that's sad. Growing up they always said, "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me" yea bullshit. They failed to mention the only exception of that rule, unless those words are coming from a loved one.
I don't understand people and the way they think. No one else thinks you get what you put out there? What goes around doesn't come back around? Am I the only one who believes in karma? The only thing I hate about Karma is she comes when she feels like it. Unfortunately for anyone who's ever hurt me, I'm impatient and angrier than Karma.

Published by ShylahBoss Lee