I had a conversation with someone yesterday and they said how watching my past relationship makes them want to be single forever. They continued to say how my ex doesn't know what he lost, he had it easy and I provided everything for us and he was very unappreciative. They said I deserve so much better. They said im independent and they respect me not because of the work I do but because of how I do it, I'm smart. I hear that a lot, but to hear that from someone who I barely know made take a step back and do some reflecting.  

I've been on my own since 15 but when I turned 17 an older man introduced me to what I do now. He barely knew anything about it, so when his friends were teaching him, I would pay attention. I took it and ran with it. He was trying to use me and got used, stupid. I'll never forget when my uncle found me stripping and snatched me off stage, I was so embarrassed but looking back on it, I feel loved. We had a talk the next morning and he asked me what the hell was I thinking. I told him I can't just sit on my ass broke, I'm not gonna bust my ass for nothing and I don’t want to depend on anyone. His eyes started watering looking at me telling me how I said the exact same thing my dad did before he got into the game. I worked for my uncle at his telemarketing company for about a year, so my sales and communication skills are excellent, and comes in handy in the field I'm in now.  

I jokingly call myself the dreamseller. When I say I could sell my soul to the devil and get it back, I'm not playing. I'm that confident. I come from hustlers, drug dealers, real estate brokers, and even a black Panther. I can do whatever and whatever I decide to do I'm going to be the best at it. I don't need a man to do anything for me because I do for myself. Any man that wants to be with me better respect that.  

No man can talk down to me because if you want to be honest, most of them men I've been dealing with and have come in contact with are beneath me. I hate to say that because I always looked at the person I was dating as the leader. We're both equal but you're the man. I make more money than a lot of people, but I would never make my man feel like less of a man because it. Let’s use my money to help you make more money, not let me take care of you but if I have to in the case you're down for a while, I can. Most females don’t think like that.  

I just want someone to support and ride for me. You don’t have to love me, I love me. It's sad it took for someone to not love me for me to start loving myself but shit happens. Thanks "Sperm Donor", because of you I don’t ever want to love another man again, nor do I want someone's love. You showed me a type of love I never knew existed. You needed love and I gave you every bit of love I had in me. You saw I was empty and loved it. Relationships are supposed to be give and take, not expect, take, demand and give back when you feel like it. I respected you even when you disrespected me. Now everyone has to earn my respect before getting any from me. I'll probably be labeled as another angry, bitter black woman, but that’s only because a insecure, degrading white ex broke my heart. Or as YOUR friend said, treated me like a "Nigga slave".  

Published by ShylahBoss Lee