June 2011. I was feeling a whole lot better after completing my course of steroids. My consultant wanted to do a colonoscopy to see how much of my large intestine was diseased. This procedure is a bit more invasive than the sigmoid scope, but all I could think of was the prep from the last time.

“Will I need to have the enema again?”

His reply, “No, you’ll have to have a special drink the day before”.

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSS!

The day before my scope, I take my first sip of the Moviprep “orange flavoured” drink…… swiftly followed by heaving. It was vile. Who ever said that was orange flavour has some seriously fucked up taste buds! I was hoping for that stick of dynamite right about now as I looked at the humongous jug I had to finish. After adding some cordial to it, it was just about bearable. I did it!
I wasn’t allowed to eat anything until the following day after the scope, which was extremely difficult. I had just gotten my appetite back and I was back on clear soup. Not a happy bunny.

So now I’m on the day ward ready to go in for my scope, just needed one last trip to the loo for luck! I get into the examination room, put on my side with my knees to my chest. I was given gas and air by the nurse as it gets quite painful when the flexiscope goes around the bends of your intestine. Delightful.

“Is that working yet?”

I replied, “No, I feel the same.”
Total lie that, I just wanted more gas (the drug kind, not the fart kind… just wanted to make that clear) so I was out of it! She gives me more.

“And now?”

“Nope.”
She gives me more. I’m fairly certain my eyes were rolling at this point.

“Can you count back from 10 for me?”2016-04-13 18.54.35

“Ten……Niiii.”
Now, I must have looked like Homer Simpon after seeing a plate of Krispy Kremes.

Drugged up, pumped full of air and ready to roll, the examination began. I didn’t feel a thing, at first. As the scope went around the bends of my intestine, I felt a strong, sharp pain that lasted about 2 seconds. And that was it. I think with having the experience of a sigmoidoscopy under my belt, I knew what to expect, which maybe put me at ease a little.

Published by Elle Quinn