Things They Find Themselves Doing in Washington, D.C. Now That Both Parties Have Given Up on Governing the Country

A. Increasing the phallic jokes about the Washington Monument

 

B. Avid voting on “Best Deep Dish Pizza” in D. C.

 

C. Starting investigations on their investigations

 

D. Installing Viagra dispensers in the Capitol lounge

 

E. Campaigning to have Tom Brady come and play for the Washington Red Skins

 

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