A. She knows all your humiliating stories–and is eager to share them with your friends.

 

B. She was willing to give you life even though it meant sleeping with your dad, who wears open-toed sandals with black socks.

 

C. She not only saved your umbilical cord, but SHE FROZE IT!

 

D. She knows where you keep your “junk” and has seen it.

 

E. She is the only person who patted you on the back after you threw up on her.

Published by Jonathan Cring