There was a video on Facebook that was of some sort of seminar where they were asking this guy (I guess he does a lot of talk about relationships and such) who should pay on a date. He asked this question to the crowd and in unison the entire room (full of women) said the man. So he challenges them and says “Oh so you should have sex with him whenever he wants?” Of course, the response was a strong “no.” Unfortunately, there are some people who think that it's a fair trade off.

Here’s the thing, I – someone who is very against the notion that you would ever “owe” someone sex – though that that was a perfect way to combat that situation. Relationships only work if there is balance in the relationship. In order for there to be balance, neither party should ever have to give something that they are unwilling to give. Whether it’s sex, time, money, or anything else.

Of course, you and your significant other should decide together how you two handle these things, but I personally don’t think it’s fair to expect only one person to put in effort. I’m not criticizing anyone, that’s just not something that I would be comfortable with. If it works for your relationship, then good for you.

I’m very independent and I’m used to doing things on my own. I’ve been taking care of myself for a very long time. Sometimes, I feel uncomfortable when people try to do things for me, I’m just not used to it. I appreciate it of course, but sometimes it’s weird. If I ask a guy out or we’re dating, and I suggest that we go somewhere or do something, I’m usually expecting to pay for both of us just because I think it’s fair. Even if I’m the one asked out I will always offer to pay for myself.

Another reason that I hate gender standards in dating is because what if you’re gay, lesbian, or gender non-conforming? Those couples aren’t taking into consideration in conversations like these.

Like I said, I'm not judging anyone but sometimes these double standards are unhealthy.

Published by Rae Coleman