As you all know, I became recently single almost two months ago. I'd been in a relationship with the same person since I was sixteen and it lasted three years and eight months. Our anniversary was coming up in October. Honestly, this has been the longest time I've been single since I was fourteen. I'm a long term relationship kind of person. I've had three official boyfriends that have all lasted over a year and a half- this recent one being my longest. I don't know exactly how this whole single life goes, but I'm embracing every bit of it. I've spent such a large part of my growing up being apart of someone else and always relying on someone else to go through life changes with me. I'm not saying that I'm out looking for someone else to replace the now empty spot in my life, but it is a change that I'm still not used to. 

I promised myself a long time ago that if my former boyfriend and I ever broke up, that was it for me for a while. It's not because if we broke up, all love was lost and that means that I'm not meant to be with anyone. It's because I've spent so much time dating other people and becoming different people along the way that I haven't spent much of that time dating myself. I don't know who I am or what I like as an individual in my own life. I haven't done a lot of things because of the fear of doing them alone. Of course I'm still dealing with the left over feelings of my former relationship. The love and heart is still there. But I'm allowing myself to fee scared to do things alone. I'm allowing myself to hesitate and wonder if doing them alone is worth doing anything at all. Because once I decide that it is, once I decide that I can, doing things alone will become my favorite thing. 

So the single life for me is a hard transition, but it's a healthy transition I need to deal with. 

 


I have 29 days until school starts and my days become far more hectic than they already are. So I decided that for all- or most- of August, I am going to challenge myself by posting a new blog post every other day, far more frequently than I already do. I want to do this not only because I have so much free time on my hands, but because I've been neglecting my writing. I'm not updating as much on my blogs and I haven't added anything new to stories I've been working on. By doing this challenge, I'll exercise not only my writing but also my mind that has been on an avoiding complications kick recently. 

 

Published by Sabrina Cardenas