The word sex has been in existence from the days of Adam..well maybe it had a different name back then but it still described the act..lol..
So What is sex? What does it mean to you? Do you still treat sex as an untouchable topic that is discussed by adults only?
I’m not going to bore you with the definition of sex.(check out the article “WHAT DOES SEX MEAN TO YOU” for in depth definition) but majority of us have gone through sex education in one way or the other…(either theory or practicals hahhahaa…) but on a more serious note, sex as any other has both the good and the bad side and its rather unfortunate the bad side has “proudly” overtaken the good side which has put  lives in emotional turmoil and many health related issues..Now let us talk about sexual addiction and how to deal with it.
One interesting fact you need to know is that, sexual addiction is not just about having too much sex but rather it is a range of behaviours (sex related behaviours) that are done in excess and significantly have an impact on one’s life negatively..Meaning there are different types of sexual addictions as they come in different forms..

TYPES OF SEXUAL ADDICTION

1. PORNOGRAPHY
2. PROSTITUTION
3.MASTURBATION OF FANTASY
4.EXHIBITION
5.SADISTIC BEHAVIOUR ( deriving pleasure or gratification from causing pain)

Research shows that through any of the above mentioned activities , one could be a sex addict (i.e.. when done excessively)..It becomes a part of you and there would not be a single day where the thoughts of sex or anything related to sex won’t cross your mind…it either the person is fantasising, watching / reading pornographic materials or masturbating…which is a topic I will touch on soon…(don’t miss that😊 ).
In this article also, We will have a look at some signs and effects of sexual addiction but right before that let’s find out what actually causes one to be a sex addict. When I was reading around this subject , I found out that sexual addiction can develop due to  the biological, psychological and social aspects of one’s life..

BIOLOGICAL in the sense that, higher levels of sex hormones like testosterone or oestrogen can affect the sex drive of an individual. So if one is inclined towards impulsive behaviour and have high levels of sex related hormones, that person is likely to engage in excess sexual activities.

PSYCHOLOGICALLY, there are a number of factors that can drive hyper sexual behaviours..for instance , people who have been victims of sexual abuse or have been highly exposed to sexual content are very likely to end up in this situation.There are a number of times that rape victims based on their experience find it very difficult to live a normal and healthy sexual life..Another psychological issue that normally goes alongside with sex addiction is anxiety/depression. Personality disorders may be a cause.
people with these problems are also likely to engage in excessive and risky sexual behaviours.
Last but not least is the  SOCIAL cause. I’m sure you are wondering how this is possible..lol yeah  I thought same as well … Now this is it ; the society has always found its way of shaping one’s life but its your decision to to channel these influences in the right direction..One can be led to less healthy ways to  find sexual gratification when facing a form of social rejection..specifically relationship break ups.This also lead to other problems like depression which  contribute to unhealthy sex behaviours. Another angle this can be taken from is how one adopt certain behaviours from the kind of people they identify themselves with.Its could be through a friend or a  group of friends who engage in excessive sexual activities..such as viewing some pornographic materials together and other related activities without realising the influence it may have..subtle yet powerful..Therefore be cautious of the circles you create.

Moving on to the signs and effects of sexual addictions.(Emotional)

Most of the times, sexual addicts may feel alienated, angry , depressed  and humiliated as well..and its very easy for such people to be be sexually / emotionally involved with people regardless of how well they’ve  known them..Another fact is, most addicts due to the fear of being abandoned normally stay in unhealthy relationships or jump from one relationship to the other which is also very risky..their personalities are filled with emptiness and incompleteness ..Though sexual addictions creates many physical side effects,there are not much of the physical signs…

Sex addiction comes with some serious effects with the common one being venereal diseases (sexually transmitted diseases) as a result of their hyper sexual behaviours..Studies show that about  38% of men and 45% of women with sexual addictions have STD’s..
Next point is pregnancy..this is also a common side effect  that happens  as a result of risky sexual behaviours. In a survey, nearly 70% of women with sex addiction reported they’d experienced at least one unwanted pregnancy..
Furthermore, there are other aspects of an addict’s life that could be affected due to their behaviour..it can lead to poor concentration and productivity at work and in school. Then again one is likely to experience a fall in their social relationships and personal ones also…not to talk of the psychological effects such as guilt and emotional distress, anxiety, depression and even substance abuse…This is a very serious situation as we can deduce from the above effects that one thing leads to other therefore making it inter-related…and because sexual addictions varies and manifests in different types, its a bit difficult to assess yourself..but these signs might be of help ..

1. Feeling powerless or have no control over how you act sexually
2. Having an unmanageable life due to your sexual choices
3. Being  preoccupied with sex so much that it becomes like a ritual to you…
4. Feeling embarrassed or ashamed over your sexual acts.
5. Promising yourself  you will change but fail to keep those promises…lol

   These are some tips to help in your self assessment in order to know if you need help or not..Its rather unfortunate and sad that such disorders among many others are not really taken into consideration in this african society of ours….we tend to take things on a lighter note when actually it is a serious problem…we should know that sex addicts are not simply people who crave lots of sex…(lol everyone has cravings😀😀😀 except me😇😇😇) . Instead, they really have underlying problems that drives the risky sexual behaviours.
Who  will spend so much money on prostitutes and use a large amount of data to surf the web for porn sites.?
Who will keep on engaging in sexual behaviours that are destroying his / her life and that of the family as well?
Who does that? Obviously someone with a problem…and there is not a single problem that cannot be solved.Unless the individual is not prepared or willing to be helped…Let us cultivate the habit of sharing our problems with the right people especially because it goes a long way to be of benefit to us.. It could be a friend, a health consultant or a relative…Remember the first step in finding a solution to a problem is by sharing..THERE IS ALWAYS A SOLUTION…

Published by Flora Denutsui