so, I have this idea that I want to write a general letter for strangers about life and just hide it in public places for people to find it and read and hopefully it can turn into something! Let me know your thoughts and just share with everyone you know and anyone who needs it!

Dear stranger,

Hello! How are you? My name is Jamesha and right now I am twenty years old as of July 19th 1997. I have a physical disability from a nerve disorder that I have and can’t walk so I am in a wheelchair but it doesn’t stop me from changing the world anyway! I truly hope that you have or have had a good day or the best one possible anyway! This probably feels kind of weird to you but just go with it for me. I hope you got to participate in something today that genuinely made you appreciate your life regardless if it was hanging out with your boyfriend who is really good to you or your really awesome best friends or ate one of your favorite foods. Hopefully, God is bringing happiness to your life somehow and if not, just know that it’s coming soon and I will go more into that later.

Happiness is a very important state and internal goal to work on attaining everyday throughout your entire lifetime. What do you enjoy doing? Do you know what makes you happy like genuinely in your soul? Do you know what you’re ultimately living for like, you know that one thing that forces you to wake up every morning especially on the harder days?? Is it your family, the beautifully real love that you have for yourself, the passion that lives in your heart for following your dreams, or music or just simply believing the reality that you have the potential to change the world? True happiness is also really important because it is meant to be your foundation kind of like a tree root during the time that other challenging obstacles hit you as hard as wind and tornadoes try to shake a tree. In the case of life, obstacles want to break your heart and soul instead. You probably will never understand how important and needed it is to have a hobby or something that illuminates and strengthens your happiness until you have found it and used it as a safe haven in one of your scary and dark storms. If you know what it is then just know that is definitely a blessing to be thankful for but if not, that’s ok. I totally understand because I have been there and still am kind of there but I’m trying to figure it out because it’s going to help me on my personal happiness journey. If you haven’t figured it out yet, then I would suggest that you keep searching for what makes you tick because self-discovery and getting to know yourself truly as a person or friend is one of the most awesome and life changing things to do on a regular basis throughout your life!

One thing that you should know because it might make life a little bit easier for you hopefully is that society is not going to make being happy a big deal and will downplay it so that you can believe that being skinny, socially accepted, and the world’s version of beautiful is all that you should want to care about when it definitely isn’t! Second thing is that even though it feels like it at the time, just know that you need to learn how to pick your battles because the little things really don’t matter but you’ll understand it eventually. The next thing is that happiness is something that has to come from your heart and not other people’s actions. Second to last thing to know about life is to laugh at almost everything but especially the people who portray themselves as clowns because they are meant to be entertaining! It definitely won’t be easy but you have to dedicate yourself to having and keeping a happy outlook and mindset no matter what happens or what clowns will do to try to steal your sunshine from you. Don’t forget that, no matter how hard you try, you will still be set off by triggers and be given tests by God but the best thing to do most of the time is be genuinely happy and laugh at their attempts and your circumstances. This is important to understand and remember that making scheduled time to do things throughout your day of adulting duties that help you to feel alive is very crucial to remember what living a “happy” lifestyle brings to your soul.

One day, everyone has to experience the painful process of realizing that you were taught that people have the power to hurt you and break your heart. Not only that but the simple fact that they won’t hesitate to try no matter how good you are to them and unfortunately, you are no exception of having to learn these lessons too. I’m not even trying to say that it will be easy because it’s going to be extremely hard and emotional but it has to happen and you have to feel it in order to understand why I said that is what you were taught but not the actual truth. Eventually, after you get hurt so many times, you realize that you have given them the power to control you and you will choose to take your power to control yourself back. Hopefully, you realize that it was always yours in the first place because I promise it honestly was. All of this explains and leads to my second piece of advice which is basically that a lot of people can and will hurt you and that you definitely can’t expect people to give you everything that you gave them in your relationships especially emotional effort and energy. Some people will hurt you on purpose and some on accident but regardless, you have to understand that the reasons that people hurt you is because of a battle within themselves and not with you.

One of the last pieces of advice on my list before reaching out to the struggling out there are reading this is to learn how to let go. This applies to almost every aspect of life and is a really detrimental part of living a life that you love or at least a genuinely happy one. You have to let go of anything that causes you to feel like you’re drowning meaning negative people, negative opinions from others, negative thoughts of yourself and others, constant worrying, guilt, anger, hatred and bitterness. None of it will really be easy but you have to stop worrying about what people think of you and value. I feel like personally this one is the easiest on that list but it may not be the easiest for you on the other hand so just know that there will usually come a time when you have a realization after being hurt so many times especially by the same people repeatedly. It will just click and you will really ask yourself why do I care about 7 billion people’s opinions about me when majority of them don’t even really matter? Hopefully reaching your breaking point will help you just focus on the opinions of people who you know care about your own opinions of them and genuinely care about you because that’s what helped me get there.

The next step in order of easiest to hardest is letting go of your negative thoughts of yourself and other people and letting go of worrying. It may sound a little weird to have to change your negative feelings and thoughts on others but you can’t live a positive and happy life when you see God’s world and His people through the eyes of a negative perspective but yet expect to be happy while still being cynical. I know that there are crappy people in the world but just being happy about the fact that you don’t have to deal with them and that everyone who hurt you will get it back in the end from your believe in Karma or God like I do! Letting go of your own personal feelings toward yourself is probably pretty self-explanatory but this is basically important because you can’t be genuinely happy if you’re constantly hating and being a bully to yourself. Most of us know that bullies bully because they are hurting inside and really unhappy which you definitely are believe it or not. You have to learn how to love yourself because you are and need to be your number one best friend and the only hero that you should always wholeheartedly count on. One way to change this is by switching your thoughts out so you create and switch out a positive thought for every negative one. For example, if you’re telling yourself that you’re unlovable or worthless then you switch it to telling yourself that you are lovable or that you deserve the galaxy and if you say it like you mean it every day then you eventually will!

My last tips that will probably be two of the hardest things that you will have to do are letting go of negative people and forgiving those who aren’t sorry This is going to be hard because you tend to love these people and are used to their presence in your life so it usually will break your heart to see them leave. If they tend to make you upset and sad more often than happy and loved then they need to go and you will feel really guilty for it but just remember that you need to do what’s best for you! If you live with those people then my best advice is to stay in your room, keep busy doing what makes you happy and things that get you closer to your dreams and goals like moving out or whatever. If you don’t have to live with or be around them then delete them on all social media and their number and keep yourself busy and productive. It’s perfectly okay and normal to think about them and sometimes even have a breakdown over them but just try your hardest not to contact them because they know that they have that power over you and that is what you’re trying to break.

Forgiving someone who isn’t sorry is one of the hardest thing to accomplish because it’s basically you having to accept that someone ripped your heart out, smashed your heart on the ground and doesn’t even care which is a harsh realization. It’s important to forgive them because you give them power when you consume your entire day and life hating them and wishing bad things on them while you could be doing productive and important things instead. Another thing that helps me forgive is thinking about what that person has been through in their life that has caused you to hurt you so deeply and so much and it’s not an excuse to say that it’s okay for them to do you wrong but remember that emotional pain affects people differently.

If you are struggling with life right now because of mental illness, chronic illness pain, lack of money, any kind of abuse, loss, abandonment, guilt, fear, stress, mom, dad, or single parent life, I understand that it’s an exhausting and frustrating battle. I know that it isn’t fair to you and you’re breaking down and I also know that people hate hearing this when you are going through something but I promise you that this too shall pass! It sucks to hear this and it feels like no one understands you when you’re on the receiving end of hearing this but this is coming from someone who has struggled with Depression since the age of five and wished that she would have believed that. It feels like you have been battling this demon forever no matter how long you actually have and it feels like it’s not going to go away but just know that nothing lasts forever and that includes pain and tough times. The most honest advice to give about this is make sure that you believe in something that is a in control of everything whether it’s the universe or God or whatever will help you. Personally I believe in God and I’m not going to tell you what to believe in but this is important because during the heart wrenching and almost impossible nights, you will need to have something for your soul to cling onto and to know that something is on your side! So, send up a prayer to Jesus or talk to the universe and tell them how you feel so that you’re releasing the bottled up feelings and to help you believe that better things are coming soon because they are! Remember the most rewarding experiences of life like what it feels like to feel the sun or snow on your face, the taste of a popsicle, getting hugs and kisses from your favorite kids, greetings from animals and live for that feeling! If this has helped you in any way or if you’re struggling with something and need to talk or if you just want to chat about your thoughts on this then message me on Facebook or Youtube at Mesha Monique and please don’t hesitate!


Mesha Monique 

Published by Jamesha Kirkland